Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Great Mad-ras University Results Saga

50 blesses 'n' curses
Guys i am back with another installment of the Mad-ras university leelais. You may ask what is so great about MU results. Yeah it's great with the precision they keep up in announcing the results. They are so!! on time they always announce a date and deliver the results exactly a month after that date. Can it get any greater than this. I was disappointed with their punctuality last time the one month tripled i got the results weeks before my next semester.

Formula for calculating result date:

Result date =1000 * (R.D+ 31 days or one month which ever is less) /1ooo

R.D = first rumoured date.

(BTW the mutiplied by 1000 and divide by 1000 is just a gimmick to make it more complicated)

Talking about the results of the semester i wrote this May they have not delivered yet, obviously considering MU standards. The other day i had an argument with one of my professors about this. Not like i do this once in a blue moon, i do this often. My professor was talking about discontinuing one college and joining a new college. Would any soul do that is a different question altogether, with the enjoyment we have in our college. He was saying that the student should have cleared all the subject without arrears in the previous 2 years. That's where the problem started and i willingly pissed him off.


Prof: MU is blah blah blah blah...........( same thing amigos)

Me: Sir MU announces results only in Aug or Sept how can u know whether he has no arrears.

Prof: What are you talking they are punctual?

Me: ( giggling) sir u remember last sem when they announced results weeks before exam.

Prof: ( in a defensive tone) last time was an exception it was because of computer valuation, mistake by the contractors they were lazy, results had to be processed once again. ( yeah it was it tripled didn't it)

Me: I learnt that professionals should not complain ( with an innocent face)

Prof: ( changing topic) This time the results are ready corrections are over will arrive on july 2nd week.

Me: (With a sheepish smile) ok sir.

Prof: hopefully( with stress) we will get the results.( trying to escape)

Me: (giggling to myself) ok sir.


On July 1st week the prof returns........

Prof: Your semester results may be delayed because internal marks have not been added it's because of 1st years. You will get the results on July 15.

Me to my frnd : oh oh seems like we could get results only after September hehehehehehehe. if we go by MU norms not our prof words. July 15. 1 month from that we would get it on Jai hind day on Aug 15 lets see.


On July 17th prof returns............

prof: valuations is over intimation by the college is needed to publish the result. U will definitely oops hopefully get the result on 20th July.

Me: I think our prof has some tie up with MU regarding MU(tual) admiration society hehehehe.


On July 24th prof returns...............

Prof: There has been some problems in feeding the results to the server, everything else is completed. results will be published.

Me: When will they ever learn, next time i hope the reason is not " the dog which staying next to the MU gave birth to 5 cute puppies so we don't want them to be disturbed, so we are delaying the results" OMG

Such is the speed at which MU announces results. People give umpteen reasons, a few are



  1. Many students write exams. 
  2. Many courses. 
  3. Strike by tea workers. 
  4. Computer valuation takes time.( then y use it) 
  5. Contracted to outsider, they are not doing well. 
  6. Delay of notification by colleges



I can answer this professionals cant complain this way. MU is like our govt slower than a snail at implementing concrete decisions, cheetah pace at giving excuses. Why does the university norms say 45 days from the exam, results will be published.

whether the results will be announced on X date which is yet to be confirmed or on jai hind day as per my calculations, my fate will be the same and same will be the saga for future sufferers who will fall into this deep pit, which are like the holes dug by corporation always open to fools who step into it. May be the corporation is planing some water bodies instead of subways in Saidapet and Meenambakkam. See for yourself if u travel by train.

i will leave you with a dig at Chennai corporation.

Rainy season

Boy: Father what is this? (pointing at the hole dug in saidapet during )

Father: It's the subway under construction.

Boy: I thought it is a pond.

Summer Season:

Boy: Father what is this, it looks different from the last time

Father: Same, its the subway under construction.

Boy: I thought it was a junk yard full of rubbish.

Seasons passed one after another.............

Little boy 2: Anna ( bro) what is it? ( pointing at subway)

Boy now a Guy: ( what shall i say) Hmmm its a pond in a rainy season and a junkyard in summer, you can answer the same to others don't believe if they say its a subway under construction.

Little Boy 2: ok Anna.





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Sunday, July 26, 2009

atTagged!!!!!!! Again

16 blesses 'n' curses
Guys i am attagged again by Shankar. This time Its ABC of me, nothing big to say about me though. Of course my Friend has give certain rules for it . You see rules are meant to broken, i am rebel so broke a few so don't go mad Shankar :D 



These are the real rules




  1. Link the person who tagged you.
  2. Post the rules on your blog.
  3. Share the ABCs of you.
  4. Tag 3 people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
  5. Let the 3 tagged people know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
  6. Do not tag the same person repeatedly but try to tag different people, so that there is a big network of bloggers doing this tag!



    This how i doctored it to my wishes. 

    1. Link the person who tagged you
    2. Tamper the rules in your blog
    3. Share the ABC's in your blog 
    4. Tag 3 people or tag a person and let him/her tag the pending for you
    5. Kottify or pummel them to submission to take up this tag while you chat
    6. I will tag the same person you don't tag the same person repeatedly but try to tag different people, so that there is a big network of bloggers doing this tag!


      Now the ABC's of me

      A – Available/Single? Single but not available
      B – Best friend? Actually i would like to add an 's' to it. Hari, Ravi , Ajay and Vicky
      C – Cake or Pie? not both something hot
      D – Drink of choice? Lemon Juice
      E – Essential item you use every day? Computer
      F – Favourite colour? Blue black
      G – Gummy Bears Or Worms? Worms
      H – Hometown? Chennai.
      I – Indulgence? Web 2.0
      J – January or February? January because more holidays, u know Pongal, Republic day and blah , blah
      K – Kids & their names? I love em, kids are great
      L – Life is incomplete without? Happiness and Adventure.
      M – Marriage date? Certainly after 7 or 8yrs from now.
      N – Number of siblings? one... a sister
      O – Oranges or Apples? Apple..which is not shined by wax........
      P – Phobias/Fears? fear of not reachin my goal...
      Q – Quote for today? "Mind sees only what it wants to see"
      R – Reason to smile? Anything.....
      S – Season? Non-existent winter of chennai i mean less hotter Chennai.
      T – Tag 3 People? Sowmi, hey please tag two persons extra for this thumbi ok ;)
      U – Unknown fact about me? I eat kelloggs for lunch ;)
      V – Vegetable you don't like? Bitter gourd…
      W – Worst habit? I use hell a lot of filth words, which i cant tell now
      X – X-rays you've had?An X-ray of my ankle...
      Y – Your favourite food? Hot north Indian Food …
      Z – Zodiac sign? Virgo, this is exactly what i am ….

      Now you guys can get ready to curse me especially Shankar.

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      Wednesday, July 22, 2009

      Solar Eclypso Calypso !

      34 blesses 'n' curses


       I will kick things of with a "Eclypso Calypso" of mine

      "come on 'n ' come on 'n' in the East India come on 'n' party in the patna, ullalalala ulleyo la la la la la la leyo..........."


      You can take a cue from "Eclypso Calypso" if you know something about the solar eclipse taking place. The world witnessed the longest ever solar eclipse in 105 years, if you miss it, you wont probably see it again. Of course there are millions of videos available in the web. Patna is the best place to see the eclipse in india is Patna.

      OK let me brief you what a eclipse those who already know it take a small nap.

      A solar eclipse occurs when the Moon comes in between the sun and the earth like Nandi and blocks the light makes it dark. However this happens only during new moon days and rarely a total eclipse is visible in India. It's totality phase usually lasts for 7 minutes.

      alright wake up guys, this is what solar eclipse is. There is more to it when it comes to superstitious believes.

      The funniest and the dumbest story i have ever heard is this
      " a solar eclipse occurs because a big snake swallows the sun so we wont get any light, dark means evil"
      hahahahahaha. Really u can defend by saying it as symbolic. How do u symbolise something which is so inane like this.
      My day started off as usual as ever in front of the computer. Golden rules in home today was
      1. Don't eat anything until eclipse finishes 
      2. Take a bath after the eclipse finishes 
      3. Specifically dont forget to wash your head. 
      4. Eat after you take bath. 
      5. No onions today. 

      i can bear anything but that bath, no no no. It totally disrupts my schedule. I take bath only at 12 noon just before leaving for college. I was ignorant about rule no 3 , so had to take bath twice to feed my growling tummy. So don't be surprised if it rains today.
      See the light travels in straight line so we get eclipses. It doesn't take right turn, left turn or u turn. But people are not like that they modify rules according to their wishes, here are those exceptions.

      1. Fasting exempted for Diabetes patients and ailing people 
      2. People who are yet to wear the sacred thread are exempted from eating onions. 
      3. Kids are also exempted. 
      4. If you do without knowing you are exempted. 

      I got the exemption no 4 as i did not know i should not shower without shampoo ( don't ask y rules) . I was forced to take two baths and got my tummy filled and wrote this post. One thing both the religious and scientists agree is don't watch it in naked eye. Here in Chennai it was very unusually cloudy usually during celestial spectacles like these. So i had no chance to spoil my retina watching it with a naked eye.

      Science doesn't approve many of these facts . Well science cant explain many things in this world. So gave the benefit of doubt to it and just followed it. Poor, I had to watch the eclipse on TV.

      I had to say this before i go, yesterday i was watching a debate between a scientist and guy who has researched for 15 yrs and accurately predicted earthquakes and solar eclipse based on planetary movements. The scientist was adamant and dismissed everything. He is a bunch of oxymoron and a self righteous hypocrite.

      Scientist: "Science is open minded and it will accept if it is right"
      Researcher: But i have done this research for 15 years, why wont u see it.


      Scientist: No it is a very primitive way. wont accept.

      Researcher: But you never read the papers of my reaearch.


      Scientist: {Repeattu (repeat) [play that chandramukhi song]} "Science is open minded and it will accept if it is right. I wont see it is primitive"

      very open-minded isn't he. hahahahaha. ;)

      ( Image courtesy : http://youthunite.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/eclipse.jpg?w=300&h=224 )

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      Sunday, July 19, 2009

      Mankey's 3 monkeys.

      32 blesses 'n' curses
      Guys i am back with one of my unclassifiable bullshits. This time i am handing over the reigns to Mankey. First take a look at this picture



      These are the three mankeys oops monkeys which Gandhi mentioned.

      The first monkey says " I hear no evil".
      The second one says " I see no evil".
      The third one says " I speak no evil".

      Well not quite literally it doesn't know English or any human language. This brings us to the question do i know monkey language. No i don't, just interpretations.

      The crazy idiot in me refuses to die down making fun these things. Here is what mankey says

      " Crazy guys don't know what it actually says. I will tell you
      the first monkey sees evil, speaks evil, but does not hear evil.
      the second monkey hears evil, speaks evil but doesn't see evil.
      the third monkey sees evil, hears evil but does not speak evil.
      Moral of the story don't do evil by all three means, concentrate one at a time.Follow this Mankeyji and not Gandhiji."
       See what can u do if do if have guy like this who always ends up on the wrong side of the long arm of the law.  Every reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction, as newton said. There is Venkey who is here to nullify Mankey. Looks like mankey has rubbed on the wrong side of Venkey. Here is what he has to say.

      " Mankey you are an Idiot with a capital 'I'. When will u get anything right. If he had monkeys with six arms he would have compressed information in one monkey, he did not have Photoshop to do that. Even if he did u will make fun of it saying here is a new GOD. First of all they are not mankeys like you, they are monkeys. Its combination of three monkeys you have to see. It's just symbolism you see Chennai in map, do you build a home in the map. I guessing you wont , hope you are not that dumb. It is just a replica of it. Stupid rubbing everyone on the wrong side.Your moral sucks even more than you. Mankeyji hkaaaaaar thu, take that."

      Ooooo i have never seen Venkey in such a bad mood. You better not be like Mankey misinterpreting things. No Venkatananda for this post. He is on vacation to Himalayas and to add to it this is unclassiable bullshit .so that says it all guys.

      ( P.S mankeys views may be full of comedy but will turn you life into tragedy. If this post makes sense then u must be a person who sees bull shit as fertilizer)
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      Thursday, July 16, 2009

      atTagged!!!!!!!

      20 blesses 'n' curses

      I have been atTagged by my friend Shankar to take up this 4 in 4 tag. Which is weird because my lucky number is 2, why not 2 in 2, whatever i am giving it a go. First of all i am no good at tagging or being tagged. This is because i have very little to say about myself. You know what the toughest thing to do is? it's talking about you, because it's damn difficult man.  Ok i will get into the difficult part, Tagging.

      Four places I have lived :


      1. Chennai
      2. Chennai
      3. Chennai
      4. and Chennai

      I have spent all my life in chennai, I have never lived even in nearby town, let alone leaving city.




      Four T.V shows that I love(d) to watch :


      To be honest i cant just name just four, i watch and love tons of shows on TV.  I will reluctantly name a four.
      1. Man Vs Wild
      2. Jailed Abroad
      3. Friends
      4. Dragon Ball Z


      Four places that I have been on vacation:


      I don't anyone to laugh or make fun of me after you read this, the first one is an exception. the rest are insane.
      1. Kodaikanal
      2. Ponamalle.( my grandma's house)
      3. Nerkundram ( my uncles house)
      4. Tambaram.( my Aunt's house)


      Hahahahahaha i told u , only i have the right u guys better not laugh. All this was when i was a kid.

      Four of my favourite food items:


       Now lets got to my favorite topic Food , once agian naming four is askin for trouble. Here i give it a go.
      1. Kachori.
      2. Chilli Bajji
      3. Schezwaan Veg Fried Rice. ( hope i got the spelling right)
      4. Chola Poori.
      I love North Indian food especially chaat items.



      Four websites that I visit daily:


       This is the most simple part of the tag.
      1. Cricinfo
      2. Cricoholic ( my blog hehehehehe)
      3. My Blog list.
      4. Mininova. ( torrent download of newly released films hehehe.......)


      Four places I would rather be.


       I would always like to be chennai , so i would give different answer indifferent from others.
      1. Chennai with less heat
      2. Chennai with better roads
      3. Chennai with no mic sets of politicians giving hate speeches.
      4. Finally Chennai with clean coovam and adyar.

      Hope these wishes come true



      Four things I hope to do before I die.....


       Sorry for being philosophical here. Hey its death man u need to be philosophical.
      1. Find the truth behind God.
      2. Watching my Grandson bathing in a clean coovam.
      3. Visit the Ganges .
      4. Sense the feeling of achieving the above.


      Four novels I wish I was reading for the first time:

      I dont read books generally so this is sort of easy for me.
      1. Five point someone - Chetan Bhagat
      2. 3 mistakes of my life - Chetan Bhagat.
      3. ..........................................................
      4. ..........................................................
      have to fill those up.




      Four movies that I can watch over and over again:


      Yeah i can watch a few for 'n' number of times, they are
      1. Rang de basanti
      2. Anbe Sivam
      3. Hey Ram
      4. Virumaandi
      I watch these movies atleast once in 2 months.



      Four people I believe will respond to this tag:


      Hmmm let me see as of now i can see one soul who is getting ready to be tagged.  i will name them.


      Sowmi
      Ravi
      Elithraniel Arawion as she likes to call her.
      Ajai's take


      Thats it i have successfully completed my Tag hurray!!!!!. Now its your turn to take it up guys, everyone is welcome to get atTagged.


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      Sunday, July 12, 2009

      The tale of the missing Book.

      42 blesses 'n' curses
      Here i am back with a yet another Mad-ras University leelai as promised earlier. MU had taken madness and monopoly too new level altogether. This post of mine is a testimony to that. If there are things in this world which are hard to come by , this one will top the list. No the book is not a best seller novel not even sold in fact. It's my first year English poetry book. You get to ask every day and get a same reply " It's on its way will be back in a week".

      One day me and my friend embarked on this journey to solve this mystery.  Finding this book is like finding dead sea scrolls.it is like running treadmill you can run for hours and still be in the same place. We chose not to go that far but to search in our locality.

      Time: 1st year of my college life 2007.
      Place: Ranganathan street, Chennai.

      Me: Dei i want buy the symphony book can you accompany me?

      Frnd: Ok i want to buy it myself lets go.

      Me: I don't think we will get this book here.

      Frnd: Lets put the weight on GOD and ask.

      Me: Sir do you have symphony book?

      Shop keeper 1: ( after searching and showing off) No, its not supplied yet.

      Me: When can we expect the book?

      Shopkeeper 1:  In a week we will have the stock.


         You know what shopkeepers follow the saying " never say never" a little too seriously. It can be detrimental if you are searching for a book like this. They also never will say can we bill it of course they don't bill. They always ask " what do you want next",  want you to buy more from them.

      Frnd: Sir do you have symphony book?

      Shopkeeper 2:  No sir it will take about a month. ( now a week has turned into a month, which effectively means no.)

      Frnd: Sir you have symphony?

      Shopkeeper 3: what symphony this is not music shop.

      Me: Hopeless, God save these people!

      Frnd: dei we are really doomed.

      Me: Sir you don't have symphony book, right.

      Shopkeeper 'n': Yes how do you know that?

      Me : the stock will be available in a week, right.

      Shopkeeper 'n':  Then why did u ask.

      Me: Simply testing.

      Frnd: Now what we have searched 'n' number of shops still no sign of it.

      Me:  I have an idea, search that 'n+1' shop

      Frnd: dei i will kill you !!!

      Me: Hey don't jump into any conclusion. We go into that 'n+1' shop ask for guide who needs that stupid book.

      Frnd: ya right.

      Me: we can piss these guys often asking for the book and dont buy that.

      Frnd: I am with you in this hahahahaha.....................

         We later learned that the book was not sold elsewhere except for the Madras University near the Beach and a few others places out of our reach. We regularly piss off the shopkeepers now and then, still no change in the reply same standard eternal " will be here soon ".


      Time : 3rd year of my college life 2009.
      Place: Station road, Mambalam, Chennai.

      Me: Sir do u have Symphony Book.

      Shopkeeper X ( sorry lost count): ( searching for it as though it always existed) Sir i think the stock is over.

      Me: (whispering to frnd) dei this time new reply, he thinks we are fools. the stock is over. where was the stock in the first place.

      Frnd:  heheheheheh.......

      Shopkeeper X : what sir?

      Me: Nothing when will it come.

      Shopkeeper: In about a week.

      Me: hahahaha...... ok  sir.

       We started this when we got into college, we will be out of it in a year now. Still we haven't seen any change except for the reply, this time they say they have stock but got sold out and expects us to believe it. Who cares if you have guide books flooding the market. May be MU has struck some deal to increase their sales. You will never no what happens next with MU. So guys i tee off and  will be back with some other leelai next time.


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      Monday, July 6, 2009

      Living life King(s) size with Charm(s)

      30 blesses 'n' curses

        Wondering what this crazy guy is up to. Ok I dont want to run the risk of people running away from this page. Kings and Charms are cigarette brands in India. I guess that explains that this post is about smoking. I just played with the words to make it sound that way.

         You  know its very creepy to see people whom you must have eaten cookies with as a child, puffin smoke with rings. Feeling, that the world has grown around me so drastically didn't sink in. I asked my dad " why are you smoking? which age did you start?" He answered " I started smoking when i was 20 and don't take me as an example, i am what you should not be".  Then there is my mom who says "promise me these two things, you should not drink or smoke". All these factors and my displeasure towards it is that's why I am Teetotaler. Ok I will stop this self-boasting and get to the point.

       

      #1. When you ask a smoker "why do you smoke?". The first answer is that "I feel relaxed". Holy shit! you feel relaxed getting your lungs taxed with tar. take a look at this pic. Relax at your own risk

      #2. They also say that they do it to score with the opposite sex, using style. They wouldn't like you to look like you to look like this guy in the pic

       

      #3. Another thing is that  they say " hey, I am now in college man i have to smoke". Is cigarette smoking your qualification? will it be added after your name like Mr Somebody BCS (Bachelor Cigarette Smoking) ? Grow up guys you need not prove you are grown up by smoking. I know you are better than that

      This is how you will end up being. If you continue smoking like Obama then your loved ones will cry "O abba amma" for sure.


      I know these fancy visuals wont stop smokers from smoking. There is no harm in trying. The images you will see on cigarette packets in statutory warning are far more disturbing than these. It is a sad truth that most of the people smoke. The irony is that people who don't smoke also get affected due to passive smoking. If you don't care about yourself, at least care about other innocent people out there.

      Let me tell you one thing living life king(s) size with charm(s) or whatever brand, will only make King Yama dharma Raja ( Hindu deity who snatches souls after death) size you up with charm, So all Maanidargal (humans) give up smoking and go to Smoking Joe's near you. (not very often junk food can also do you in)  'smoking ozhigaya namaha'.

      So if you are thinking of smoking think twice because it has a habit of hitting you in the back side. If you are a chain smoker please stop smoking you will feel a lot better i promise. Dont stop smoking totally. It might complicate your problems. Reduce the number of cigarettes day by day. Remember you should do it very slowly. One day you walk free and say you dont smoke anymore and you quit smoking. Sounds very nice doesn’t it? Hope you people do the same.

      Let me know what you think about this post. Leave your comments

      ( Disclaimer: this is not an anti- Obama post so save your foul stuff for some other post of mine Obama fans Big Grin)


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      Wednesday, July 1, 2009

      My Memoirs.

      33 blesses 'n' curses

        I am feeling pretty nostalgic at this moment, the reason being a quiz I recent took on Facebook "How good is your memory?". No wonder that I got 92% memory. There was a certain question "Think of the oldest memory you had? how old were you?". 

        I have a vivid imagination of this incident. All my relatives gathered around me and were asking me to repeat some words and what i had uttered was some gibberish, remotely close to what they had asked. People say that is bollocks because you dont have a memory at that age. It turns out that I do *wink wink*. That probably was the oldest memory i have of an incident. There are quite a few which i remember like yesterday. This one when i was 2.5 yrs and before I was eligible to join a school. I was playing with my animal toys, i accidentally stepped my foot on a tomato. I ran screaming my throat out to my grandma complaining that i was bleeding. That's one of the dumbest things i have ever asked. May be I had known about vadivelu's thakkali chutney back then.


        Then, there is another incident, when my parents enrolled me in a school adjacent to Alpha Matriculation due to age disqualification (I was not three years old)  All I did there was, to escape without the knowledge of the teacher and catch hens with the maid there. Then time went by, I was three and was bored of catching hens and sitting under the neem tree. My parents met the school principal. She asked me to continue studying in the same school. The reply i gave was nothing short of arrogance and fearlessness. I replied " Naan indha sotha school la padikka maaten po!", which can be loosely translated to English as " I wont study in this good for nothing school, leave me". Trust me i am not making this up. I still do this stuff but in a subtle way.  


        My bravado didn't stop there, the incident i am going tell you is the jewel in the crown, the chutney on top of pongal. I can never forgot it. It left an indelible imprint in my finger, literally. I was brat when I were a kid. You might think who isn't. Well, surprise! surprise! I was totally different from other kids my age. My first day of school was a prime example. All the children were crying for their mommies. I didn't even care i was happily eating chips and laughing at other kids. If my parents bought toys for me, i wouldn't just play with it for few days and I would deliberately break it and research how it was made and then melt it together and once again play with it.



       
        On one such day, when i was in kindergarten particularly UKG, i was playing with a toy car which spits fire sparks at the rear. An ordinary kid would play with and leave it, not me. I broke the car took the part which emits the spark and started playing with it. It fell near the wheel motor which was used fetch water from the well. I, thinking me to be superman and not tall enough to switch the motor off, tried to stop it with my iron hands. Zoommm! a rotation or two happened and I couldn't stop it. I was leaving my toy all heart broken, with a sober face. One of my older friends shouted “blood! Look at your hand!”. That was enough to creep me. i was bleeding all the way to hospital. The weird thing was i didn't even feel an iota of pain. I was coercing the person who admitted me to buy me Good day biscuits. I was taken to Kaliyappa Nursing Home and stayed there for a good month. No school for a month and when I come back, voila! I have new doll to play with, my sister.

         One good thing about it is, it helps me find which right which is left. Weird? can't understand? I'll explain. I have this strange habit of forgetting which is my right side and my left side. I told this to my mom. she politely explained, "Mundam! You have scar on your RIGHT hand that is your RIGHT side, the one without the scar is LEFT, simple. Now dont ask again!". I still cant make out right from left without the use of my scar.  Now we know that's where the rest 8% in my memory test went. The ruckus i caused when i was a child was innumerable. Hope you enjoyed reading this piece of memoir.

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