Wednesday, October 28, 2009

As random as a post can get.

29 blesses 'n' curses

Appearances are Deceptive:

If you take a glimpse at the sky, there would be snow white gorgeous looking things floating different shapes in the sea of blue. They look marvelous, dont they? Affirmative they sure do. Then there are clouds which are black rather grey. They dont look quite as pretty, do they? Relatively you can say yes they aren’t as pleasing as their fairer counterparts. But one thing that makes them invaluable is they are the ones which bring us the lifeline which makes the world go round, the rain.

2 yrs ago i was leaving for home. I met this old guy with bald head looking pretty decent at the railway station. He asked me to hold him and help him up the stairs. I did. Just a few steps, his hand touched my peter aka piston you know what i am talking about. I thought it was mistake and carried on. A few more stairs, my peter was given a knock knock who’s there kind of thing. That does it, I gave a stare, pushed his hand and walked away. Spare a thought for women who are harassed like this.

Appearances are surely deceptive, aren’t they? Why I learn it this way.

The More you give the more you get:

The Dead Sea as the name suggests is really place where no life forms exists apart from a few bacteria. You know why? I’ll tell you. You see the waters get into the Dead Sea but they dont flow out. This makes it almost 10 times saltier than the ocean. The density of the water is so high it makes you float. It takes all the water from the rivers, one of them is the Jordan River which has one of the least salinity and gives none. Dont be like that is was what i learnt from nature.

On a lighter note, in the first One dayer, our two bowling stalwarts Harbhajan and Praveen gifted runs to Aussie batters as a belated Diwali gift. Man! they were damn impressed and wanted to return the favor. They Dropped catches, misfielded, bowled full tosses outside off stump and long hops. That was so nice of them to give away Christmas gifts so early. Lee and Hopes said they wont play the second One dayer for that generous act. Christmas has come so early for the India if they 356 run target is anything to go by. Curse Siddle and Hauritz they were so stingy. That’s one more reason why you should believe the above thought.

Getting social with a drunk person is not a great idea:

This Diwali was really special for me. I went to my friend’s place that evening to light up crackers. We had a blast, literally. When I was about to kick start a series of blast, two amigos came at me smiling and dancing. “Happy Diwali” they said and hugged me. I was at my socializing best. I hugged them and wished them as if I knew them for ages. Then came the real deal, they didn't want me they wanted my Red fort cracker. After sometime playing I've got worst he’s got better crackers game and then You dont bring drunkards into our flat game, my friends had heartily laugh at my folly. Thats another lesson learnt, point noted my lord

I think, I have bored you guys enough. Seeya after my exams, until then adios amigos

 

Images Courtesy: http://english.people.comhttp://upload.wikimedia.org/


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Saturday, October 17, 2009

Conquering Mt Semester

27 blesses 'n' curses

   My so called Model Exams starts come Monday. While the uncorrected model papers of the yester semesters still haunts everyone. I think they ended up in the nearby waste paper mart without red ink crossing those wonderfully unwritten answers  and lots of stories right from the birth of Kamal to 50th yr celebration of Kamal in Indian cinema.
Mt Semester
Ok enough of parody and getting back to business i have my semester in November. The Date has not been confirmed yet as usual as by MU (Madras University). This time it won’t be a cake walk for me. I have a mountain to climb; no i am not making a mountain of an ant mole rather from a heap of books. Just look at the size of them mate! It is surreal.
 
Being the Stupid that I am, I also signed up to write Clerical Exam for SBI which is also due this November. So the height of Mountain has increased by a few inches now.  I have this habit of immersing myself into books only just before the exams, to be precise a day before the exam. I wanted to change that this time which obviously didn't work. I tried to open the book which i bought just a few days back, only to be ridiculed by mother, “Something strange is happening, my son taking out his books”. After taking all the ridicule, i pumped myself up and started marking the answers. Finding the answers for those has become a laborious task last time i didn't find that this difficult. Even a book exam will be tough for me now.

First time I tried, I ended up bumping into Bret Geeves’ blog in Cricket Australia website. That is one of best things ever happened to me. I was awe with his writing that I  set all his attributes in Cricket 07 to 100. Bret Geeves is a young Tassie(Tasmanian) pacer and an Aussie with an extended funny bone. You can read his blog here

   Just when i decided  immerse myself into books of knowledge; I get a tempting phone call from friend to watch a movie in his brand new LCD TV and home theatre system that shakes me apart. I sadly refused him and ended up marking answers. I switched on the AC and started marking the answers. A thought struck my mind “why cant i read the whole book?” (Talk about being realistic). I started  reading a few paragraphs. The level of the lactic acid secretion in my brain was working over time. The lactic acid coupled with the cool breeze of the AC put me to sleep. I slept like a baby for hours together.

   Later that evening i started marking the answers once again. Then i started playing FIFA 09  simultaneously checking out the team I sponsor Trinidad and Tobago. Haven't you seen the name “Venky’s” on their kits and NSW,my favorite team among the teams participating. End result i didn’t complete even half of what i wanted to do.

  This Deepavali has certainly started on a different note. I have changed like a batter cooked in a steam to a really puffy steamed idly both mentally and physically. Instead of wearing new clothes and bursting crackers, I went to my computer with bad breath and started downloading FIFA 10.

   Let us celebrate this Diwali differently. Let us burst fewer crackers and become Rockers, bring in those big speakers into play and disturb that neighbour next door differently.
  You know success tastes so sweet like the home made Baadushah by mom but failure tastes like Baadushah cooked by me. I dont want to taste my Baadushah. The last thing i need is, my mother talking to me about my increasing internet usage and flunking in the exams for the first. So i wont be around for a week or two blogging. Till then Adios amigos.

Happy Diwali to all.

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Monday, October 12, 2009

3 days 2 nights and One love story.

26 blesses 'n' curses
   
  “Where am I? Who are you? Where is she?” Quick give him the anesthesia, we’ve got to calm him down. “Ah aah …………” Get the woman in the ICU hurry up fellas, we have lives at stake.
  We were a match made in heaven perhaps heaven on earth. We were dating for 2 years. We knew each other since high school, only 2 years back I built courage went upto him. The All star Ball game, Busch Stadium; Barack Obama threw the first pitch. I still remember as it was yesterday. I bought 2 tickets for the ball game in the box. David Wright was struck out, I stood up to her, took out the ring and said “It needs 3 strikes to get out. It took only One for you to strike me out. I love you, will you marry me”, she was in tears and said yes. That yes, that one yes made my life. My joy knew no bounds. We booked a trip to the Everglades for our honey moon.

   It was sunny morning in the everglades, we teed off to the swamps just by the river to watch the alligators. It was and still is a big time alligator territory one wrong move, you wouldn’t return in one piece. It was mid- day, that was when the Alligators were least active, so we went off to check other wildlife.

  As we were walking through the swamps, Claire felt a bite. I found a snake, I took a look at the stripes and it were red and black. The saying was lingering in my mind “Red and yellow kill a fellow; red and black friend jack” in our case friend of Mike and Claire. I picked the Scarlet King and showed it to Claire, like the bravest man in the world. I knew it had no venom in it.




   The sun was setting, that’s when i realized we were heading to the east and the dry land was to the west. Everglades was a very spooky place and nights were even spookier. So we decided to camp there for the night. Unfortunately we lost everything while watching the gators. All we had was a knife, my cigarette lighter and some water. We had to eat something. Fortunately or unfortunately that something means frogs which are in abundance and are not poisonous. I gathered some dead barks, leaves and I also found a tin. I carved the stick and went to hunt the frogs. Claire was looking seemingly in discomfort as the scarlet king had bitten her. Though it wasn’t poisonous the wound with the cocktail of mud is a recipe for disaster, hence she couldn’t walk properly. So i used the only available clean water to clean her wound. We then barbecued the frogs and ate them at one go. There is only one word to describe it, pathetic with a capital P. That night went on as we cuddled each other watching the canopy and we feeling each other’s breathe.

…………Increase the oxygen his breathe is slowing down, get a new one right away. Pulse is slowin down, hurry up fellas. Aye aye doc.
   “It was a new dawn, a new day. We started our journey to the west. The Swamp was so unforgiving and was sapping every bit of the fluid in our body. To make it worse the sword grass were wearing and tearing us down. We took our stick held it horizontally and navigated through the grass. Finally after hours of struggle we made it to Seminoles territory. We could eat the bitter yet life saving oranges grown by them. Thank God! Seminoles lived here.
   Flo-rida’s “you spin my head right round” was what i was humming. The reason was, here i am searching round and round for frogs in Florida, how ironical. Suddenly Lady Luck smiled on us, I found a  gopher tortoise, Jackpot! Gopher tortoise with lime juice over it Yummy! I thought i would never say this even in weirdest of my dreams. Claire suggested steaming the tortoise with its shell in the fire. To be honest it tasted alright. I filtered the water through my T shirt into the tin we found, boiled and filled our bottles. We ate the tortoise for dinner, pinch me. Without wasting a second she pinched me, sheesh! If only she had shown this swiftness we would have been home now.
   We took an early start, the next day and reached near the canal; adjacent to it were a road and our way out of there. It seemed barely a mile from there. We were walking through the swamp waters, that’s when i found myself in a sink hole. The more you struggle the more you get into it. I was perturbed and my heart was beating fast.

……………… The heart beat is slowing down charge it and give him a shock, one more and one more.
Claire was terrified and was in no position to help me. Her leg was badly injured; I don’t know how she managed to walk. She had heavy fever thanks to the mosquitoes, swamp water and tortoise she ate. She was lying down and telling to me go with the flow and we can make it. She told me to lean on my chest, pull myself up and monkey crawl out of there. That’s where my survival instinct kicked on, I came out of the hole with whole of my pants and half of my T-shirt covered in mud. I carried Claire with the muddy pants and reached near the canal and then lights off i had nothing left in me and i fainted.

……………. Doc he is opening his eyes. Where am i? Son you’re in the hospital we found you and the other woman nearby the canal. Where is she?
   “I am sorry to say this, she is no more. She had succumbed to dengue” said the doctor. My whole world went crashing down after hearing the doc say that. She meant a lot in my life. Why us? Why? Life is such a bitch.There were so many beaches in Florida, why a swamp? But then honey moons never last forever. In our case, it ended in our ‘so called honey moon’.
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After a few weeks i was up and kicking out of the hospital. I started my vehicle and headed towards the Everglades hearing “The Backstreet Boys”
“never gone, never far, in my heart is where you are, always close, every day, every step along the way”
How meaningful can a song be to me than this one? Everglades here i come to pay tribute to the love of my life. 






P.S: Put off by the sad ending you see the problem with true love is, “True love never has happy endings, because true love never ends”

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Saturday, October 3, 2009

The Indian Dream

52 blesses 'n' curses


This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 3; the third edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

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    Indian Dream is pretty "complicated" like a Facebook relationship status. Summing up the dreams of more than a billion people ain’t easy. But, I had as usual two too conflicting views, one from Venkey (better half) and another from mankey (bitter half). To sum it up for you to decide there is Sri Sri Great Great Fake Fake Swami Venkatanda.

Venkey Says Angel

“The dream of person, who earns daily wages, lives in a hut and doesn't get food to eat is; eating a nice meal 3 times a day; sending his children to school; to build a good roof to stop the rain water seeping and the sun beating down.

Then there is the salaried middle class man who has all the basic amenities he needs; food, water and shelter. But is greedy and stops enjoying what he has and dreams about what he does not have.

 And then the men who have their coffers full, having everything in the world. His money can buy everything and for others they have VISA MasterCard. The One thing he doesn't have and no VISA MasterCard can buy is happiness . He lives in the fear of losing all his riches and tries to safeguard it. The affection he receives  from people is also fake. He dreams about being happy and as well as rich, a state I describe as having a mutton biryani in some maami's mess in Kumbakonam.

  You may wonder why I talk about all this. I do have a point. All these play a part in my interconnected “Indian Dream”. I want to see an India which has no people suffering for basic amenities, content with itself and be happy. I want an India which dreams less and does more.”
   
Mankey Says  Devil


“It’s not gonna happen Venkey. Come on! Dreaming is in our blood. How the hell would we get through auditing class, where the professor speaks more bullshit than you? Here goes my list.
  1. Better parking facility at the Mambalam Railway Station.
  2. Make Venkey the ruler
  3. Let me control Venkey, so that i can shift the blame.
  4. A land where Public buses arrive on time 
  5. No etching of their names along with their lover's name in the train/buses/public places that includes "gang" names too
  6. A road without pot holes
  7. No power cuts. The reason why I have posted so late.
  8. Clean the coovam river.
  9. Vada pav stall in every other street.
  10. Indian winning the World Cup. Oops when is that going to happen.
Wow very realistic dreams, I better rub a magic lamp and ask genie all these wishes. Lets cut the crap, Indian Dream is all about doing wrong things and not getting caught. Nothing is wrong unless you get caught. It is not about doing right things it’s about doing things right”

  Those are magnificent views expressed by Mankey. Give him Denmark, he will change it like Somalia. You sure have an astute thinking. Go to hell you moron.

Swami Venkatanda Says


     “Dreams are our deepest desires. What we can’t achieve or want to achieve, end up being mere dreams. Once in a blue moon they end up being reality. Dreams can be bifurcated. One is sub-conscious dream, which we get when we are in deep sleep, which we have no control of and is inane. Another is the conscious dreaming, which we can decide what to dream of and how will the dream be and is less inane than the former.

   Our former president  Abdul Kalaam said to the youngsters to dream their destiny. Our youngsters have taken that a bit too far to be honest. When a boy is caught mind fishing in the class, he answers to his teacher “Sir, Abdul Kalaam told us to dream”. Yeah that's what he told! You moron! Did he tell you to dream about; how you are going to cut your classes; what you’re gonna eat for lunch; how will be your favourite hero’s next film; your dream girl? You non-contributing zero.

   People have the habit of gloriously misunderstanding notions or twisting them according to their whims and fancies. What he said does not concern with our silly sub-conscious or day-dreaming but is focusing your energy with full conscience to certain thoughts or imagination or whatever it may be and execute it.

Indian dream is all about being happy and Letting others to be happy. Your freedom ends where my nose begins and nose is reaaaalllly longggg. Live and let live. Wishes From Sri Sri Great Great Fake Fake Swami Venkatanda. Hey! you there,  give me the soda, very long speech pa.”

   All i would say is “Trust everyone, just don’t trust the devil inside them” Hope you got what i meant and geo the right message, that’s my dream Winking. Hope you liked the post.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

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