Sunday, July 25, 2010

‘Paul’um Pazhamum. What the Octofcuk is this?

The world can be divided into people who know Paul the psychic Octopus and people who dont, after the Football World Cup ended. Paul recently even got a honorary Spanish citizenship. I caught with Paul and asked a few questions which are in tune with the very existence of this world.


Question no:1

What’s more important to the existence of the world rather than my Chartered Accountancy course? So I asked Paul whether I would get through CA or end up stealing double CA’s i.e CACA’s (crow)  ammavasai (no moon day) offering.
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He answered “Only the cold days” How inappropriate was that?

Question no:2
I got worked up when Paul answered it like an ass, that is my birth right! I even thought of becoming a non-vegetarian! I asked  if we would chop his tentacles and make a soup of it, will it be called Octokaal soup? (kaal in Tamil means foot)



Once again the answer was “Only the cold days”. Okay this is getting really annoying but he does have a point. We have soup usually when the weather is cold, dont we? So I will take that as a yes and it is “Octokaal Soup”

Question no:3
Now Octopaul is losing his credibility, giving the same answer. Hence I asked him that if I asked him any question will he answer “only the cold days”.
3 He answered that someone actually beat me to this question and asked him the same yesterday and that he would answer the same.


Question no:4
I wanted to give the poor thing a second chance and warm him up for something great. I asked him a question whether he has 8 tentacles because only 6 were visible.
2 Voila he answered it right!


Question no:5
He is now ready for the most important question in the history of the mankind which has been haunting the most intelligent of the minds, The Mystery of the missing Vaazha Pazham (Banana) Once upon a time there lived and still is alive a Tamil comedian by the name Goundamani who is known for his decibel level and kicking skill against his sidekick Sendhil. On one fine day Gounder asked Sendhil to buy him 2 vaazha pazhams (bananas)  But Sendhil gave Gounder only one Vaazha Pazham. When asked by Gounder where was the other one Sendhil answered “ Ithu dhaan anne adhu”/ “This is the other one/”Yeh doosra hai”. Gounder tried every trick in the bag but for pulling the octopus out of the hat. He even tried frisking Muralidaran for the doosra. So I asked Octopaul about it.
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The puzzle has been solved. It was Octopaul after all the octofuss. Now the old Tamil song “Paulum Pazhamum” has taken a new meaning. Now that the mystery is solved Gounder can die peacefully and Sendhil need not live the guilt the entire life!
 
I am participating in the WeBlog's Sleepy Sunday contest! You may read other participating posts HERE

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Saturday, July 24, 2010

Yet another Tag due to lag or lack of thinking

5 blesses 'n' curses

Avada Kedavra tagged me and here are the 10 to 1 answers from my side. I promised myself to act like an ass throughout this tag. BEWARE!

 

Ten how’s:

1. How did you get one of your scars?

A: I was playing with a toy car which sparks fire at the back. An ordinary kid would play with and leave it, not me. I broke the car took the part which emits the spark and started playing with it. It fell near the wheel motor near the well. Me pretending to be Superman and not tall enough to switch the motor off, tried to stop it with my iron hands. Zoom a spin i couldn't stop it. This is how my finger look now

2. How did you celebrate your last birthday?

A: I have stopped celebrating them

3. How are you feeling at this moment?

A: Annoyed

4. How did your night go last night?

A: Sleepless, searching for random blogger profiles

5. How did you do in high school?

A: Promise! I didnt do anyone at school Whew

6. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing?

A: I did tapas and got this T-shirt.

7. How often do you see your best friends?

A: The frequency of sunrise and sunset / politician changing parties / celebs changing partners

8. How much money did you spend last month?

A: Whatever my parents gave me.

9. How old do you want to be when you get married?

A: Probably when i get a job

10. How old will you be at your next birthday?

A: 21

Nine what’s:

1. What’s your mothers name?

A: Usha

2. What did you do last weekend?

A: Played cricket, football and laughed a lot with my friends

3. What is the most important part of your life?

A: Laughing and having fun, no matter what!

4. What would you rather be doing? 

A: Having a laugh with my friends

5. What did you last cry over?

A: Cant remember, it’s been more than a decade since i cried for anything!

6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?

A: Up beat music

7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?

A: Sense of humour

8. What are you worried about?

A: My IPCC course for Chartered Accountancy

9. What did you have for breakfast?

A: South Indian Sedative Pongal!

Eight you’s:

1. Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?

A: I liked them on Facebook pages and status updates

2. Have you ever had your heartbroken?

A: You will be, by the time you finish reading this tag

3. Have you ever been out of the country?

A: If country means area outside cities, yes!

4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?

A: The answer is similar to that of your answer to whether the sky is blue.

5. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?

A: I have punched them on their face!

6. Have you ever had sex on the beach?

A:  I wouldn’t do that and moreover i am a virgin

7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you?

A: I haven't dated anyone yet.

8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day?

A: There are 2 types of people. One kind reads hard and the other reads hardly! I belong to the latter

Seven who’s:

1. Who was the last person you saw?

A: My mom

2. Who was the last person you texted?

A: My friend, Hari

3. Who was the last person you hung out with?

A: All my friends

4. Who was the last person to call you?

A: Find out yourself “ Sir we are calling from Nowhere bank do you want somebody’s loan because nobody wants it”

5. Who did you last hug?

A: My teammates, when i scored last night in the football match.

6. Who is the last person who texted you?

A: Hari

7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?

A: If it is meant in romantic way i haven't said it to anyone yet

Six where’s:

1. Where does your best friend(s) live?

A: A street away

2. Where did you last go?

A: To Toilet

3. Where did you last hang out?

A: Monkey bar

4. Where do you go to school?

A: Past

5. Where is your favorite place to be?

A: Motta Motta Maadi

6. Where did you sleep last night?

A; Not on the platform

Five do’s:

1. Do you think anyone likes you?

A: How can people not like me!

2. Do you ever wish you were someone else?

A: yes

3. Do you know the muffin man?

A: How much does a kilo of it cost? I know only Shakhtimaan!

4. Does the future scare you?

A: Yes It does

5. Do your parents know about your blog?

A: They dont know what a blog is!

Four why’s:

1. Why are you best friends with your best friend?

A: They are true to me and they trust me. I respect anyone who trusts me.

2. Why did you get into Blogging?

A: I wanted to everybody to notice the unnoticed side of me. I, like one of those Private Engineering colleges in TN,  am hardly recognised.

3. Why did your parents give you the name you have?

A: Supposedly it is the name of my dad’s friend

4. Why are you doing this survey?

A: Now this is a revelation. News channels need to cover this. I never knew this was a survey

Three if’s:

1. If you could have one super power what would it be?

A: Ability to control the human mind

2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?

A: It is like asking “Can you get back the Kachori you ate yesterday in today’s morning shit!” It cant happen and I never would do that!

3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring 1 thing, what would you bring?

A: I would get a boat! and get out of there!

Two would-you-ever’s:

1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you?

A: I will try Y’s and Z’s

2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? How does shaving save them?

A:  I would shave my head if i end up bald.

One last question:

1. Are you happy with your life right now?

A: I am the happiest person there would ever be!

If you have survived it till now, let me tell you that you have a strong heart and you wont get any heart attacks. Anyone who read this gets tagged, hahaha evil scheme Devil. If you dont have a blog do it in your Facebook notes


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Thursday, July 22, 2010

Comedy cops

3 blesses 'n' curses

Comedy cops Entrance music:

You must have seen Comedy Cops doing comedy here, if you haven't see it. One fine day when we were sitting on the top of the Motta Motta Maadi we had an enlightenment.

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We thought if XYZ can make noise in the name of music, so can we. And this is the result of that. Our First assignment is to compose the Entrance music for Comedy cops, a short film which has shelved due to the request director Shankar so that he can release Rajini starrer “Eindhiran”

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Comedy Cop- 1 -  Venky aka Comedy piece
Comedy Cop-2  -  Ashwath Athreya aka comedy time
Stone Drums    -   Ravi Shankar aka Vaangikko Shankar
Say trr trr        -   Hari Haran aka Mokkai Putter
Recording        -   Venkat Unbeaten aka Machi -the unparallel jai

 

Comedy Cops- Entra...

Disclaimer: We are not responsible for your temporary or permanent deafness


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Saturday, July 10, 2010

Wish – Blog-a-ton- 12

9 blesses 'n' curses
This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 12; the twelfth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

A wish can be interpreted in two ways or may be even more. One way is wishing for stuff both tangible and intangible. If I start writing about these wishes, it wouldn’t end for eternity. So I am not going into all of this. The other one is wishing others. This may be a “Good morning” tweet or a “Good Night” tweet which gets endlessly tweeted and retweeted or wishing someone else at college or at work place.

But “wishing” has taken a new level with “Politicians” and “Film stars” Let us take an example of a politician.

SPM_A0238

This wish is for Mr S. Ramadoss the above wish is loosely translated into English as PrayingO bright light of the Thamizh race (also rays Winking) Please come! Please come!Not worthy

SPM_A0234

After the highness himself, it’s the rising son Mr Anbumani Ramadoss. Oops was I politically incorrect because Sun is the symbol of another party Confused Here is how he is wished “O! Our prince! Please come! Please come!”

[Note: His name has been murdered by the north Indian news readers as “Ambumanni Ramdoss” Anbu means love and ambu means “arrow”. So please dont say it that way. He is not Ramadoss and he is Anbumani. Ramadoss is his father]

 

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Now This is how people wish film Stars. They call them “Thala” which means head or simply head of all operations. Every film star has his nickname which praises him. Vijay is wished as “ilaiya Thalapathy” / Young leader, Vijaykanth as “Captain”, Kamal Hasan as “Universal Hero”, Rajini as “Thalaivar” / Leader. Even the newbie have their own nickname, for e.g they are called “rising star” or he is added with prefix “young” along with existing big hero he resembles . The big heroes get a free milk abhishekam. That is the bonus of being a big hero.

So that is it! I have summed all the wishes i have noticed. If you have anything else to add please do so in the comments section. I would like to read those  comments Big Grin 

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

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Wednesday, July 7, 2010

An argument on and off sidelines

6 blesses 'n' curses

Offside Rule has been creating a lot of ripples perhaps waves in the game of football for a long time. This Worldcup is no exception. During one such game at the world cup a goal was disallowed and ruled offside. The commentators started screaming “ Oh its Offside or is it!” and these 2 guys, Batmanaban and Baalu were confused.

Batmanaban aka Bat : Machi (dude) what is this offside rule da?(yaar) Confused

Baalu aka Ball : Its nothing da if the player is running on the offside it is called offside da.

Bat: So you cant score from an offside position it seems. What about onside?

Ball: Who said? We can score. But you need have a very good technique to score, just like cricket. Only technical players are allowed!

Bat: Oh! ok da but what about onside?

Ball: If you are onside everyone is allowed to score. Football is totally like cricket. Sloggers always score in the onside! So everyone is allowed to score from onside.

Bat: How da? Can you enumerate da?

Ball: In cricket there is a fine leg and in football the dribbling midfielder has fine legs. You have slips to catch the edges, likewise if the ball slips the defensive midfielder recovers it. See you get it? Simple da Machi!

offside-rule-in-soccer1

Bat: Ok I am going by your word because you know some football da.

Ball: But i have one confusion da whether it changes with Right-footer and Left-footer. This rule is very uncertain and dubious da!

Baalu’s Bro Footbaalu : Machi! Yes da. I have fair share of my doubts whether you have brain or not. Smug

Bat: Stupid! What do you want?Angry

Footbaalu : *Draws a diagram and explains* See this is offside!

Ball: Poda!! you split in a vertical way and I split in a horizontal way. What is the difference?

Bat: Yes he caught the point. Machi you are right leave him.

Footbaalu: DohI dont knowNot talking

Ball: You know one thing da. There are only two teams in Football others are just add ons da. They are Brazil and Argentina da. If its club football then there is only one team Man Utd and the oppositions change from time to time

Bat: Surprise i see, that is why everyone support them.

Ball: Didnt i tell you? Cool

Footbaalu: Not worthy Some things never change! I cant help but laugh LaughingRolling on the floor

 

P.S  The above conversation is a figment of fiction. But i have heard even heard worse than this. Like: Cristiano Ronaldo played for England when he played for Manchester United because it was an English club.


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