On and Off relationship

The relationship between myself and the gym has always been on and off. I first stepped into a gym during my college days, because a friend of mine compelled me to join, to provide him company.  The gym had basic facilities, not quite the tech-savvy and the treadmill was not electric. It was a manual treadmill, inclined to make it tough to use it. We went to the gym regularly for about a month or two. The guy who accompanied me quit due to his "exam" and I went to the gym for about 2 weeks and then I quit. That was my first stint.

The same would repeat again after 3 years, this time the gym being a different one. This one had better facilities than the last one. This time, I continued for about a week after my friend quit. I fondly remember myself snoozing the alarm, sleeping again, dreaming of working out at the gym and then waking up to only to realize, that I did not work out and I am actually late for office. So that was how my second stint ended.
Now again, after 3 lon…

The aura of Mysskin

There is nothing more enjoyable than seeing a piece of yourself getting reflected in art. Especially when there is an increased feeling of being misunderstood and being disconnected from the rest of people. Mysskin's films fall into that category for me. I have always believed that the subject of his movies and film language he employs resonates with the core of my being. This was further confirmed when I was breezing through some old pictures of mine, posing exactly like how Mysskin's characters do and many times, he himself does. As I once said, "Beauty no longer interests me, it is the oddities that do". There is this strange sense of oddness to his film language.

2 nights before, I watched Mysskin's latest offering, "Savarakathi", albeit he was only the writer for the movie and the movie was directed by his brother GR. Adithya. I did not expect the cinema hall to be packed to the rafters and at the same time, I did not expect it to be as empty as i…

Big Hard Sun

I've been humming this song called "Hard Sun" by Eddie Vedder which was used as a soundtrack in the movie "Into the wild". The song has a whole country music feel to it, I've always liked the tempo and the guitar riffs, but I've never really paid attention to the lyrics, until yesterday. It is a magical feeling when you suddenly find a song that totally fits your frame of mind. It is indescribable. I am reproducing the lyrics here.

The song on the outwards looks like a tale of a relationship between a man and woman. If you delve deeper you would realize it is actually a guise of a person singing about their destiny. How one has to live with the pressures of this world, over how one wants to lead his own life. The woman is a personification of the inner voice and the hard sun, the unforgiving world we live in.


I've become so miserable to be around people. I am pissed off, I am very very pissed off. All I do around people is bitch and moan. I know I am doing the same thing here. At least I am not bothering anyone in this bottomless pit with no echoes

2018 has started off on a very bad note. They said that everything will be hunky dory that Sani has left my sign, but I just feel like, I am in the prime of it. Everything that could go wrong, has gone wrong. I am in a very shitty phase of my life. I feel worthless. By the end of the first three months of the year, I will be jobless, moneyless, lonely (which I already am), sitting at home, being a burden to everyone.

All this uncertainty is killing me! Only good thing to come out of all this is, by the end of it, I will be sure who are people who will be there for me. What my options are, what I will have to do.
I just can't wait for things to end, for the good or for the bad and discharge all my duties, So that I can go back into my sh…

Senjikkottai Vaalibargal

I was looking up on the weekend getaways from Chennai during one of the long weekends in October. I wanted to go this place called "Senjikkottai" aka "Gingee fort". I wanted to get there with my TVS Wego but ended going to Kancheepuram, instead. That was one heck of a 140 km ride. I just couldn't imagine myself riding 140 km to and fro, Gingee. I buried that plan and went ahead with life.
Suddenly one night, I rang up my friend, Machiss and asked him whether we could go to Gingee fort the next day morning. The plan was made in a matter of minutes and we were good to go. Things have not been easier. We parked our bike at CMBT and boarded a bus to Gingee at 6 in the morning. It is not the most comfortable way to travel, but it is my most favorite way to travel. When traveling in a public transport, you get to see the different cultural subset of people from various suburbs and towns around Chennai. They have their own routines which are ethnic to them. It is ver…

On travel

I wouldn't call myself a wanderlust, but I don't mind traveling. From the age of 5 to 22, I hardly traveled within the city, let alone outside the limits of the city. I spent all my childhood and weekends within the confinement of the neighborhood that I lived in. I didn't know many places in Chennai until 2011. 
I've just gathered my thoughts about traveling, so that I could refer to this after a period of time. Hindsight is always a better vantage point, isn't it?

More than the serenity of the destination, what has always amazed me, has been the journey to that place. Beauty no longer fascinates me, it is the oddities that do. I dont want to go beautiful places, i just want to go to odd places, the mundaness of the place that people look over when they view with a romantic eye.
My ideal kind of wander would be to choose to travel like a common man, stay in a humble place without any luxury and experience the place like how any local would, in that area. I don'…


There are days when you wake up and do not want to face people. You just want to avoid the whole world and then sulk in frustration. If you actually take the plunge and get out, it is amazing how your day changes. There is no point in sitting and mourning over spilled milk.If you are not getting something that you need from somewhere, don't cry about it, just go "Well, I am gonna go here and find what I need". At least that's how I have been leading, all my life. It is not reflecting poorly on the places we don't get what we need, rather puts the stress on the reluctance to make a fuss about not getting it.

In my opinion, what comes towards you is more important than things you go towards. I have let go numerous opportunities because I thought I will be of no use for the other person or they really didn't need me. I honestly think the world will be a better place and free of any disappointment, if we only did what we would offer others normally, rather going…