Temple pain at the Temple town Kanchipuram.
Not very long ago i visited the Temple town 'kanchipuram' with my mom and dad. Let me make it clear to guys who are afraid this post is gonna describe the temples i visited and who are excited about the temples, that this not gonna be like that. Visiting temples especially the grand ones, have never been my cup of tea or coffee or whatever. The main reason i travelled there was that i was too bored and wanted to eat out and take a look at the scenaries.
You see, if i plan something some other thing happens, so i stay away from planning. In this case i didn't and paid the price. Coming back to the business if there was one, I noticed certain things during my visit which i will deal in the coming paragraphs. You must have heard about the 3 golden rules of accounting, these are the 3 golden rules of Dagalting ( in Madras Tamil it is the act cheating derived from the word 'dacoit' )
Rule no 1: Show me the money Honey!
The first the thing i noticed was that a Temple is no exception to the term "Show me the money honey". This is the most important rule. When i was visiting _____ temple, dont ask me the name i am very bad at this, i cant remember.
Temple guy: Sir, buy your ticket. You cant enter without the ticket.
Me: For what i am not doing an Archana here
Temple guy: not for that sir.
Me: Then what?
TG: Entrance ticket! we collect differently for Archana.
Me: holy shit!
TG: What did you say
Me: Nothing ( oops that's an unholy word said in a holy place)
TG: We collect only very less Rs 2
Me: Are you by any chance bargaining with me.
Mom: why are you fighting, leave it give this money.
Oh my god should i pay Rs 2 to see and pay Rs 20 to praise you answer me ? . I understand that everyone needs money but not allowing a person because he doesn't hold a ticket is too much.
Rule no 2: Never anger the Priest or face the wrath
There was this women who was asking to the priest the details of the temple. She looked like women in her early sixties, dont ask how do you know? guess work man!. If you dont know this listen carefully, the unwritten law in big temples is " Move as fast as you could in the line and take a look at idol quickly" or simply " jarugandi jarugandi" or "jaago jaago" or "quickimus worhipimus" in law terms ( i just made this up, there is no such term ).
The women failed to do that, she pestering the priest. Priest was saying it like the hippie Fast track ad "move on!" . The Lady got agitated and said i put Rs 20 as dakshina. Now that did it. I don't know where from the righteousness came, he said " look , take your money and get away i wont tell, go now". Is this how you behave with a devotee ? she waited for long time but no reply from him, is it not his duty?
Rule no3 : MRP = My Retail Price.
I got the 3rd rule after visiting the temples. This has nothing to do with the temple though. I felt very thirsty and wanted to drink Fanta, this is where i got this fantastic rule. I went to the shopkeepress [ new word coined by me for a female shopkeeper :) ] and asked for a fanta.
Me: Give me one fanta
Shopkeepress: Ok sir
Me: Here take Rs 20
SK: it is Rs 25
Me: What? the MRP says Rs 20
SK: what MRP i don't know that, it costs Rs 25
Me: You don't know MRP? Holy crap !
SK: Look its Rs 25, don't speak rules to me buy or leave.
Me: Hey please know what is MRP it means My retail price, sell at whatever price you want, Income Tax department department will give you medals. Thumbs up mam. ;)
I almost forgot to tell, i touched the Golden Lizard which will clear me of all the sins i committed, though illogical i did it because I'm not gonna lose anything. The bargain was too much tempting, to be sin free or flaunt my broad minded bullshit . I credited my Sin a/c which was in debit balance and it is now nil balance. :)
I went there for some peace but a few people got a piece of my mind. I went in search Masala Dosai and veg pulav all i got was Masala conversation and full of temple pain. God damn me and my rhyming one liners. I hope these things change for good. Now you must know why i hate visiting such temples and i am fair in saying that. If you have God everywhere why go to a temple which collects money to enter in ?