Saturday, August 29, 2009

Temple pain at the Temple town Kanchipuram.


   Not very long ago i visited the Temple town 'kanchipuram' with my mom and dad. Let me make it clear to guys who are afraid this post is gonna describe the temples i visited and who are excited about the temples,  that this not gonna be like that. Visiting temples especially the grand ones, have never been my cup of tea or coffee or whatever. The main reason i travelled there was that i was too bored and wanted to eat out and take a look at the scenaries.


   You see, if i plan something some other thing happens, so i stay away from planning. In this case i didn't and paid the price. Coming back to the business if there was one, I noticed certain things during my visit which i will deal in the coming  paragraphs. You must have heard about the 3 golden rules of accounting, these are the 3 golden rules of Dagalting ( in Madras Tamil it is the act cheating derived from the word 'dacoit' )

Rule no 1: Show me the money Honey! Money Eyes
The first the thing i noticed was that a Temple is no exception to the term "Show me the money honey".  This is the most important rule. When i was visiting _____ temple, dont ask me the name i am very bad at this, i cant remember.
 
Temple guy: Sir, buy your ticket. You cant enter without the ticket.
 
Me: For what i am not doing an Archana here
 
Temple guy: not for that sir.
Me: Then what?
 
TG: Entrance ticket! we collect differently for Archana.
 
Me: holy shit!
 
TG: What did you say
 
Me: Nothing ( oops that's an unholy word said in a holy place)
 
TG: We collect only very less Rs 2
 
Me: Are you by any chance bargaining with me.
 
Mom: why are you fighting, leave it give this money.
 
Oh my god should i pay Rs 2 to see and pay Rs 20 to praise you answer me ? Praying . I understand that everyone needs money but not allowing a person because he doesn't hold a ticket is too much.

Rule no 2: Never anger the Priest or face the wrath Phbbbttt

   There was this women who was asking to the priest the details of the temple.  She looked like women in her early sixties, dont ask how do you know? guess work man!. If you dont know this listen carefully, the unwritten law in big temples is " Move as fast as you could in the line and take a look at idol quickly" or simply " jarugandi jarugandi" or "jaago jaago" or "quickimus worhipimus" in law terms ( i just made this up, there is no such term ).
 
   The women failed to do that, she pestering the priest. Priest was saying it like the hippie Fast track ad "move on!" . The Lady got agitated and said i put Rs 20 as dakshina. Now that did it. I don't know where from the righteousness came, he said " look , take your money and get away i wont tell, go now". Is this how you behave with a devotee ? she waited for long time but no reply from him, is it not his duty?

Rule no3 : MRP = My Retail Price. Shame on you
 
I got the 3rd rule after visiting the temples. This has nothing to do with the temple though. I felt very thirsty and wanted to drink  Fanta, this is where i got this fantastic rule. I went to the shopkeepress [ new word coined by me for a female shopkeeper :) ] and asked for a fanta.

Me: Give me one fanta
 
Shopkeepress: Ok sir
 
Me: Here take Rs 20
 
SK: it is Rs 25
 
Me: What?  the MRP says Rs 20
 
SK: what MRP i don't know that, it costs Rs 25
 
Me: You don't know MRP? Holy crap !
 
SK: Look its Rs 25, don't speak rules to me buy or leave.
 
Me: Hey please know what is MRP it means My retail price, sell at whatever price you want, Income Tax department department will give you medals. Thumbs up mam. ;)

   I almost forgot to tell, i touched the Golden Lizard which will clear me of all the sins i committed, though illogical i did it because I'm not gonna lose anything. The bargain was too much tempting, to be sin free or flaunt my broad minded bullshit . I credited my Sin a/c which was in debit balance and it is now  nil balance. :)

   I went there for some peace but a few people got a piece of my mind. I went in search Masala Dosai and  veg pulav all i got was Masala conversation and full of temple pain. God damn me and my rhyming one liners. I hope these things change for good. Now you must know why i hate visiting such temples and i am fair in saying that. If you have God everywhere why go to a temple which collects money to enter in ?

37 blesses 'n' curses:

Srini said...

Now I can predict cries of "blasphemy" for this from some quarters. Of course, these days everything seems "blasphemous" including airing one's views on apparently uncontroversial subjects! lol.

Returning to the post, I think you should forgive the Fanta priced at Rs. 25/- (I mean if you come to think of a 500 ml Pepsi priced at 50 bucks or so at the Cinemas; at least that's how I console or cheat myself. But mind you these are not rich people who can buy Mercs with what they make extra. But granted your point: it is pretty unsavoury, indeed).

Entrance fees and archanai tickets... ah... I too have never understood the concepts. So, let's leave it at that.

I liked your coinages. rotfl. Cheers to them!

rimz said...

awwwww...as per writing it was very nice..
n abt d temple-scene the scenario is almst d same evrywhere.. the 'temple-guys' n priest stuffs.... Ppl goin in search of peace ,whether get it or not dat i donno but de always burn a big hole in deir pockets,.
[or may b they gain some peace, u kno, coz some say d less wealth u hve d more peace u have...:P]

Ajay Shyam said...

"There goes another penny slipping outta your pocket, Mr.Scrooge!"

"Fire and damnation", think somebody here needs to have a copy of the movie 'Scrooge' run on his dvd player!

Uh,, yep! agreed!! sometimes its annoying even to the point of being sickening when somebody wants to dent a hole in your pocket by pesterin you for Rs.5-10 rupees,, when you know that's all you've got!! ;)

But temme, we all have splurged money on many other things without even thinking twice about it, knowing fully well that that wasn worth a penny,, just as de post above me pointed out - buying popcorn/softdrinks in a multiplex!!

So,, dont rue and curse yourself and more importantly others,, jus think that you have helped someone needy albeit against your own wishes!!

GOD save you!!

Ajay Shyam said...

anyways, enjoyed de post,, great read!!

btw,, i think its time that you changed your url,, you aren the cricaholic anymore,, atleast that doesn reflect in your posts!!

vEnKy said...

@ Srini

Rs 5 doesnt matter much why do sell more than what you should. The cinema halls do it, cricket stadiums do it i equally hate all three

vEnKy said...

@ rimz
agreed the smaller temples ar way better the big and famous ones

vEnKy said...

@ Ajay

First of all i am no scrooge but i wouldn't like people earning in a wrong way like some suckers who get bribes, why the hell MRP exist. It is my right to ask why the person sell at a price not more than he/she should. If doing that would earn the name i am scrooge i care a shit about it.

hey Rs 5 is 25 % of the MRP they already get profit, this 25% is not fair. Just multiply this for a month and then a year, you would realise how much this the case in Kanchipuram outside those temples where they exploit the Foreign tourist and other shops elsewhere. For god sake no one sells inside in the temple is of no connection with the temple, if you have misunderstood me.

And god damn it you are an Articled assistant and encouraging this rob off, you are part of the corporate governance which is letting down India in a really bad way.

As far as the cricoholic thing let be atleast in the url there what bothers you. Change the url has lots of consequences you would'nt know.

And for your info i am writing a post summarising the ashes which i will slip in this week or so.

AJai said...

Great article. Your incident with the Fanta at the temple refinforces my belief that temples are no longer places of god. they are places for crooks.

vEnKy said...

@ ajai

The fanta thing has nothing to do with temple. And i wouldnt call them crooks its unfair thats what many do in the name of business, i would say the temples are becoming business centres and stop there, crooks is a strong and wrong word.

Shruti said...

hey,amazing writing!!
You are telling about the MRP in kanchipuram,but the slice bottle in my college costs Rs.12 when the Market price is Rs.8.50
The situation prevails everywhere!!
Its the fate of our country!!

Check out ma recent post!

dexterouslady said...

write about INOX and SATYAM CINEMAS also!! the food they sell inside!! am furious!!!!

S Satish said...

Venky

You post a 10kb tag just against the Rs.5 that was over and above the MRP. Please beware that there was a recent scam in Satyam for over 7000 crore money swindled. You can't post on that being controversial or rather not very personal. I go with the attitude you bring here but not the right arena to fight with.
Well drafted!

HaRy!! said...

sorry boss, na epadiyum always do not believe in idol worship...so no comments...but ya i agree... i always hate discrimination in the temples..yu give 50rs yu get to see GOD in no time and if yu dont..then yu wait!!well is it worship or bribery?...hmm leav it for god to wonder:)!kalakals poonga

vEnKy said...

@ Shruthi

Ya thats a sad truth, MRP has no bearing in many places

vEnKy said...

@ Sowmi

You know i dont go to theatres hehehe

vEnKy said...

@ Satish

Mistakes start at only at a small level they grow into bigger evils. Whole issue of Satyam was due some unscrupulous accounting and people governing them.

vEnKy said...

@ hary

Ya what you say is true man. Why cant everyone stand in the same queue. This happens mainly in the big temples, Tirupathi is a prime example

Shankar said...

lol..I too visited kalahastri now..money speaks more than food there... money..money ..money..for everything money...

Shankar said...

and about MRP... I already wrote a post....I think you would have read it...

vEnKy said...

@ Shankar

Yes buddy i am in total agreement with you. Ya i have read that post , that super market one. Then for what i am the top commentator.hehehe.

V Rakesh said...

Phew! Little wonder that I go to temples at the break of dawn, when the crowds are the least and communicate my heart out!

Sadly, of late a lot of temples have become very commercial!

Maddy said...

Piranthanaal Vazhthukkal Venki....Came From your Akka's page

Shruti said...

Venky,
Check out my recent post re:)

vEnKy said...

@ Maddy

thanks maddy

@ Shruthi

Ok ma

vEnKy said...

@ Rakesh
yes buddy when crowd is less thats the time to go.

R S said...

that was mighty little excursion you had and those were some mighty little conclusions drawn..
I commiserate with you for losing Rs. 22 but what about me man.. when my father had to invest 750 for some Kartikey teeka in Malai Temple(I remember it!!)..

btw nice blog...do visit mine .. sometimes..

cheers!!

Anu...:) said...

Nice description.Makes me wonder about how dear God is trapped inside those temple walls(Supposedly).

vEnKy said...

@ anu

thats nice way to put up your thought

vEnKy said...

@ RS

thanx mate keep visting and will visit yours when i am free buddy cheers.

Sandhya said...

This happens everywhere!! I hate standing in queues, getting squeezed in the crowd. And people do all this in the name of God! Funny world :D

vEnKy said...

@ Sandhya

Khudha khe liye in tha name of god

vishnupriya said...

Leave temples Venky...how about the profession you are in? CA.Can you come out unpolluted?... Ultimately search for perfection and truth leads to Divine...!
Keep the fire burning!Atleast the feel.. for truth... which is slowly evaporating in modern mechanical life!

vEnKy said...

@ vishnupriya

Well my profession now is Vetti officer. If i were a CA i will definitely come unpolluted. All i ask is atleast spare the temples

divsi said...

u remind me of the jaago re ad venky...hey bhagwan aapke naam par bhi khaate hai...:P
sad but true...u offer 10 bucks to the priest n he ll get u chandan frm inside..u stand there wid no money n he shooes u away..!

vEnKy said...

@ divsi

I went to Kanchipuram like a month ago when i saw that jaago re ad i was surprised to see they had captured it, its done pretty well too.
Jaago re !!!

sayrem said...

Your blog is taking far, far long a tyme to load...see if you can do anythng about it.

vEnKy said...

@ Sayrem

:( i tried everything but changing the template, i created and new page for my accolades and deleted some widgets. Will try. Slow connections face this problem

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