Thursday, April 8, 2010

Pantry which made people to remove their pants

    Before you could think anything dirty about ‘removing the pants’, wipe any semblance of it. This has nothing to do with that kind of “removing the pants’.Not talking

   Travelling by train has always been by favorite way of commuting. But eating from the pantry while travelling, a big no noShame on you. Me and my friends were on a trip to Kerala for attending one of my friend’s brother’s wedding. When we left for Kerala we had our dinner in the comfort of our home because it was a 10pm train. Little did we know about ‘The Railway Pantry’ apart from that ‘Anniyan’ Ambi (Aparichit in Hindi) refused to eat because the Rasam was watery, Papad was like kerchief and Sambar was directly disproportional to the amount of rice.

   A day in the boat house in Alapuzha, attending the marriage, 3 days of good food and the act of emptying the pockets of our beloved hosts, we had a lot of fun. We had a train to board that evening . Hence we had to have dinner in the train at the mercy of ‘The Railway Pantry’.

   Like the Lamb that is waiting to be beheaded in front of Lord Kali we called up the pantry guy. My friend Ravi as asked the pantry guy for the menu.

Ravi: Sir! what do you have for dinner?

Pantry Guy: Money Eyes Dosa, chapatti, Veg rice, Egg rice, chicken chapatti…..

Me: Look guys, we know the veg rice is filled with rice bullets and with no veggies. The dosa, one need not say anything about how lousy it would be.Thinking

Ravi:  Zip it Venky , chapatti is the only thing left, we shall have veg chapatti and non veg guys can have chicken chapatti. Give me X veg chapattis and Y chicken chapattis please

Pantry Guy: We will give the order in 30 minutes

Me: (said to myself) Rolling EyesNever in my life i dreamed  whether a chapatti was veg or non-veg.

 

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   30 minutes passed by and the guy came in with the food packets. There were 2 chapattis and a yellow color potato mash in the “veg chappati” and non-veg one contained a chicken piece. This took him 30 minutes? One bite Sick and the non-veg guys threw their chicken pieces out of the train . We somehow managed to eat one chappati just to fill our growling stomach.

   After sometime everyone gave their own reason and went into the toilet in the train removed their pants and you know what they did? . The toilet didn't have a mug and this made their job much tougher. That is where the mineral water bottles came to rescue! They were used to fetch water. Me and another friend of mine Ashwath steered clear of “Mango juice”. Me thanks to my immunity and him because he didn't let the fucking chapatti fuck his stomach.  This wasn’t first time we had mango juice. Yes, “Mango juice” is what we call loose motion.

This was how the comedy cops took their revenge. You can see this Facebook album of mine and see the comedy cops doing their stuff here

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   Way back when we were studying 11th class, a mean guy mixed some loose motion pills in Ice cream. We stupidly accepted that offer from him and paid the price. We all went to the toilet in the school without each other’s knowledge and the next day we found out that we all were Tataanked (In our lingo it means ‘being screwed’ or “befuddled”) and had a good laugh.That is where the name came ‘Mango Juice’ came from.

   The point of this whole incident being blogged is to let people throughout know how the Largest Network Of Railway is being run. Ours being the largest network makes the job tougher, but that does not mean it is something impossible. The Food and amenities provided by the Railways are pathetic. A part of the blame should also go to us. Many people dont care to flush the toilets they use or throw the wastes in the dust bin. No wonder railways stations are highly polluted. Let us do our bit to help the authorities by not urinating and littering at the stations and hope they will do their job.

Before I go I would like to share this blog I found through Indivine. It is called Tooned life. The blog contains cartoons on various topics from Facebook to Shoaib and Sania marriage, do check this out.

19 blesses 'n' curses:

Srini said...

I was tataanked too! :D (by this post. lol)

Jokes apart, the standard of food is pretty bad in railways. However, to generalise - as I always say - is not correct. Even my most recent train journeys (from Hyderabad to Bengaluru and Mengaluru to Chennai) treated me to reasonably good food - edible, not bad. But most of these were breakfast or snacks; as a rule I do not try lunch or dinner. I either pack them at IRCTC stalls which seem a little more hygeinic even if the taste quotient is not tremendously better!

vEnKy said...

@Srini:
You should have eaten the fucking chappati and went to that mug-less toilet like them :D . Then you would speak about generalisation. This is a personal exp for god's sake. :D

Srini said...

scusey moi! it is not that I do NOT sympathise with them. :D All that I am saying is, personal experiences can be good or bad. Hypothetically, if I had written a post about my fine dining experience in a train - wouldn't you have come up with rejoinders similar to mine taking the opposite view? that's all that I AM doing!
If personal experiences, however bitter they are, lead us to generalisations, then doomsday is near. I know such a light-hearted post does not deserve such radical stands; but I do not believe in generalisations, they hardly work at least insomuch as I have seen them - in Linguistic Theory as well as subjective life! :)

vEnKy said...

@srini

OK All humans have two eyes, one mouth, two ears. I am generalising. But is it wrong or is it doomsday.

Deserts are a dry place. This is also a generalisation. It is right and what is evil about it.

I dont know what generalisation you saw in this post that wasn't true.

What is wrong in calling what is wrong.

Generalisation exist everywhere and it is true most of the time. Yes there are exceptions to every rule that doesn't mean the rule is wrong.

Anyway truce you have your view i have mine cheers :-)

Srini said...

All truces are fine after you have made your point, never mind. :D I can give you supposed generalisations which are not true - you take ONLY the tangible, I can take ONLY the intangible, but I do not wish to do that.

And if I was not clear, let me once again phrase it out for you: GENERALISATIONS are NOT things like rainbows have eight colours, most rabbits have four legs etc. The sort I was talking about referred to "extrapolating" - yes, THAT's the word - based on what we see and what may or MAY NOT be all the time true.

And "deserts" are a dry place is an "empirical fact" an "observed" reality; not a generalisation for there is NOTHING to "generalise" from or to and there is difference between the two. Just an example to clear things!

As for wrong and right... you know my views again: may be it is not he case with you but more often than not, 'right' and 'wrong' are tags of convenience! :D

vEnKy said...

@srini
first of all LOL rainbow has 7 colors not 8.

Railway pantry is very bad and that is empircal fact and it is observered reality by me why do you call that generalisation or "extrapolation" as you would like to call.

Srini said...

sorry ba. science week. lol

vEnKy said...

@ Srini

Never mind I am good at mathematics hence i referred "extrapolating" as "Extrapolation" which is Maths

Srini said...

oh. lol. My comment had to do with colours of the rainbow, Venks, not the "extrapolating ~ extrapolation" difference. As far as I know both are permissible: one in an adjectival context, the other a nominal one! :D

vEnKy said...

@srini

Our madness knows no bounds. We hack the comments section once again. This is time we have beaten our personal record. new record 10 comments hehehe ROFL

Swathi Pradeep said...

Venky,
Nice post!! Hope u did not do what Aniyan did in that movie for the railway official! heheheh

Btw,thanks a ton for putting up my blog link :)

Srini said...

@Venky

Make that 11. Oh, hacking comments is not new for me. Have done about 30-32 comments in my blog or his with another friend called Anand who does not write public blogs anymore. Used to be good fun.
But before I get brickbats, let me renounce the place - temporarily, yes - in peace. :D

vEnKy said...

@srini: Finally :D

@swathi Pradeep :
I dont have Multiple Personality disorder :D . Its my pleasure i really liked the blog

Neha said...

Sanitary conditions in Indian railways is pathetic!

And here I am GENERALIZING :P
read the awesome bashing in your comments too :P INTERESTING

:)

vEnKy said...

@Neha

Dont start it all over again yaar :-)

HaRy!! said...

romba naal achi... mango juice loose motion ah... yena ya panringa!!! ha ha...sariyana matter than!! cyu aroun!

vEnKy said...

@Hary
Not now it was sometime before :-)

evanescentthoughts said...

Yeah Indian Railways really needs some improvement. No water and such pathetic food! god!

vEnKy said...

@ evanescentthoughts :

Yeah certainly has to improve but we have to do our bit too

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