Friday, December 31, 2010

2010 – Tattanked!

7 blesses 'n' curses
  Its been a really long time since I blogged, that's mainly because of me being sandwiched between 12 hr classes for a month now! Out of the blue my second session for the last day of the 2010 has been cancelled and I am writing this post. Being back home at the stroke of 1 seems a luxury!

  Same time last year, I was pondering the fact whether 2010 would be a good year because ‘even years’ have never been great for me. But 2010 has just turned my world upside down, probably the most successful year of my life ever. Considering that I was such a success deprived person for almost 3/4th of my life it's quite overwhelming for me. I did things, which I've not even dreamed that I would do. 2010 has been a year of many firsts in my life.

  1. First proficiency prize
  2. First graduation
  3. First Tweet
  4. First blogger meet
  5. Meeting my blog friends, in person and further strengthening the bond
  6. First #perkytweet win
  7. First time, getting selected in bloggadda’s top 25 post of the year
  8. First time, I made so many friends!
  9. First time I won a First prize in anything, for our Standards on Auditing skit
10. Last but not least,first time I touched a teacher’s feet, Mr Vikas Oswal

August 29th, I attended why first Auditing class for my IPCC. I didn't even bother who’s going to teach me. Out of the blue came, Mr Vikas Oswal. He just bowled me over with his unconventional way of teaching. But the guy saved his best for the second session which started in the month of December. He took classes for 6 hrs which felt like 2 hrs. Seriously I have not met a better teacher/person all my life! For goodness sake! He made Auditing an interesting subject, made us do a play on Standards of auditing and made us conceptually understand every bloody thing about auditing. Which guy would call up a student and ask the student to mimic himself and then clap for him?! Who in the blue hell would?! Vikas Oswal did that to me!

The moment when he gave us the 1st prize for the Standards on Auditing skit, I had Goosebumps! When he congratulated me personally, I felt a million dollars! Exactly the last day of the year when his classes got over, I was so sad that all of this has to end. He just inspired me too much to ever forget about this great person. He tells us a lot of things other than auditing! Man! I will miss the way he stresses things and shouts! The way he repeats sentences when he dictates! The way he says “repeat the repeat”

Vikas Oswal is the greatest teacher to have walked the face of the earth, the man whose feet I touched, My guru and he is always |Tattanker|

SP_A0594

Transformation from a shy, under-confident and a reserved person to an uninhibited, over confident :-D and outspoken person, I should say was complete in 2010. One thing I've learned a lot is, sometimes it is quite important to put up a brave front even though you feel like a chicken.

I have totally tattanked 2010 and I am eagerly waiting to tattank 2011 and 2012. You may ask “why not 2013 also?” but after 2012 the world gets tattanked no? :-D

Sooner or later I will be back posting the “Gommalla Act 2010” Beware and be aware :-)

Alternative text

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Did you smell what “The Venk” was cooking @ ECR?

2 blesses 'n' curses

Yesterday me and my friend “machi” left for the Sai Baba temple at the ECR. As usual i managed to crap up something and have fun. Since the temple opened only at 4pm and there was a solid 30 mins, we found refuge in a beach near VGP at the ECR. I was searching the place for something interesting to do, what I call “podcast” and what others may call “crapcast” The Beach basically contained garbage, rotten wood, tonic bottle ( i wonder what they did with them :-O), Liquor bottles of all shapes and sizes from 1/4 to full and one of the pair of slippers/shoes. What in the blue hell is wrong with people throwing just one slipper/shoes.

Here’s me trying doing a Bear Grylls after find growth of flowers on one such bottle.

And then “machi” spotted a crab! I was shouting like one those wildlife enthusiast, which was similar to that of seeing aliens. Suddenly “The Venk” enters and asks what he was cooking. Damn! I even “gommalla”ed the crab. hahaha

 

And here is an octopus shell, if it has one. You can also see the waves inching to touch the feet of “The Great One” :-))\

This was what i could manage in 30 minutes. You know what the money we planned on eating out was spent paying fine to the Police for driving without Helmet. What was really surprising was that the Cops actually gave a receipt for the spot fine of Rs50. Our Country is improving :-)


Alternative text

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Raja Paarvai and Kamal–Ilaiyaraja combo

4 blesses 'n' curses
   The unlimited access to the internet has ensured that i have round the clock access to all kamal Haasan’s work i haven't seen and also to YouTube videos too. The more I see the man’s work, the more is the respect i get for him. Sometime back i bumped into this song, “Azhage Azhagu” from Raaja Paaravai. I really wanted to watch the film because i have heard a lot about it from my father. I was really shocked at the kind of vision the producer, Kamal and the director, Singeetham Srinivasa Rao had as early as 1981 when running around trees and singing duet were the norm, truly a "Royal vision" as the title suggests . Not to mention the same guy directed Pushpak aka Pesum Padam starring kamal, which was also way ahead of its time. The film contains no dialogue and is mime based.

   It is a love story between a budding writer (Madhavi) and a blind violinist (kamal) The film is devoid of any unwanted songs and very natural. This could have been easily a sob story with the sympathy angle but not, thank goodness. The Entire cast of the movie needs to be congratulated for putting such a quality performance unheard of 30 years back! The camera work is also very novel. If you are one those people who haven't seen this movie, watch it and be amazed by the brilliance which was shown 30 yrs back.
Lets go into the second limb of the post, Kamal- Raja combo. To be honest I’ve started listening to Ilaiyaraja only lately and have unearthed a few gems. Out of those gems, for me the kamal-Raja combo songs stand apart. Let me list a few songs which I love here.

Azhage Azhagu – Raaja Paarvai - Yesudas : I love this song a lot, especially the way it is enacted with subtle touches. The song is about a blind guy describing the features of his lover by feeling her through his senses. There is so much kavithuvam in the lyrics, no wonder it was written by Kaviarsu himself. The only other song in this film,  “Anthi Mazhai” by SPB and S.Janaki is also my favorite. The theme music of the film has Raaja written all over it. MASTERPIECE. Let me digress and share a thing I noticed in the song. Around 2.10 in the video I linked above, Kamal and Madhavi sit near the steps. In a playful way he tries to elbow her. If it was any other actor he would have elbowed at the first go but not Kamal. He misses the first time and then connects the elbow the next time. If you notice, there is also a noticeably halt and then the song picks up as soon has he connects the elbow. This level of genius is unheard at least for me.

Valaiyosai – Sathya – SPB & Lata Mangeshkar : This song was a chart topper back in 1988. As told by dad, no radio programme is complete without playing “Valaiyosai” once. The way in which the song was shot, surely must have been first of its kind. Once again the song sequence is so natural. The chemistry between Amala and Kamal was great. I really want to grow a beard like him in the film. But alas it isn’t growing as thick as he has!

Nee Oru Kaathal Sangeetham – Nayagan – Mano & Chithra: Yet another kamal-raja combo magic! The song was extensively shot in Mumbai and stuck to the narration of the film perfectly. Mano for me has done a commendable job! My favorite part of the song is were they both stand at the beach and Kamal shows something to charanya and the line "KadarkaRai kAtrE vazhiyai vidu dhEvadhai vandhAL ennOdu"

Nee Paartha Paaravai – Hey Ram – Asha Bhonsle & Hariharan : This film “Hey Ram” is one of my all time favorites. When i first saw this film as 10 yr old i just couldn’t appreciate it. But when i watched it after i knew something about the world, I just realised it was a treasure I walked past without noticing. This song is so sweet and has really wonderful lyrics penned down by Kamal himself. My and most of the people’s favorite lines are “Naan endra sol ini vendaam. Nee enbadhe ini Naan dhaan. Inimelum varam ketka thevai illai. Ithu pothum vaerengum sorgam illai” Truly magnificent, isn’t it?

Sandiyare Sandiyare ( Shreya Ghoshal) & Unna vida (Kamal & Shreya Ghoshal) – Virumandi : A film that was least appreciated but once again one of favorites. Kamal- Raja combo was a hit here too! There is a scene were Abirame ogles at Kamal's childhood pick and kamal notices it and the reflection is shown on the picture frame. Brilliant! Just a brilliant shot.

Ore Naal unai Naan – Ilamai Oonjal Aadukirathu – SPB & Vani Jayaram: Though i despise the way it was shot with kamal and Sripriya just walking about in a park like morons and lip syncing, i absolutely loved the audio version. One of the best ever as far as audio is concerned!

Inji iduppu azhagi – Thevar Magan – Kamal & S.Janaki : Need i say more. I just love this song especially duet version sung by Kamal. Pure awesomeness! The voice modulation was brilliant!

Poongatru Pudhidanathu – Moondram Pirai – Yesudas : This proves good films will always contain good songs. I really like the way in which the songs gathers pace and slows down. The shift is quite amazing! Also not to miss out on another song from the same album “Kanne Kalaimane”

Sandu Pottu – Thevar magan – SPB : This is a really peppy song, which I have added for the purpose for breaking the monotonous pattern of melodies here :-)

Apart from these i’ve mentioned here, I do a like a lot more. But for me these are the songs which stand out as of now, personally. Bottom line is Kamal-Raja combo = *respect* period!

Alternative text

Monday, November 8, 2010

The Other door

6 blesses 'n' curses

  Before I start, let me say that is not going to be one those whacky posts i usually come up with. It’s a long post of things i really wanted to convey for a long time, perhaps this might ease out my mood swings. I know it’s been quite a long time since I blogged in this place. That is purely because i have simply lost any motivation to write here because there’s not an awful lot of people waiting to read. And the souls who do read already know in first hand, what i am going to write.

The Deepavali weekend that went by was pretty good. I’ve been in Chennai ever since I was born and i didnt even visit St Thomas mount once. So prior to deepavali on Thursday we visited the place in the evening. We had quite a blast watching the night sky being decorated by the infinite number of fireworks, I never knew people here had so much money. Such a marvelous place is this St Thomas mount. It’s very peaceful and close with nature! We also decided the comeback there the morning, post deepavali.

Deepavali went on really nice. Though the curiousness to find out what crackers my dad had bought for me and to save them for later wasn’t at fever pitch, It’s really something to be with friends and light up fireworks with them. Though this time I really missed pwning my good friend Ajay due to him being in Dubai and the bugger didn’t even turn up for skyping that day! I would say there were other guys whom i was pwning that day, my fellow comedy cop Ashwath and the karate Kid Vignesh who got repeatedly bashed by me. I really had a blast this Deepavali quite literally. In the event i even got blisters on my index and thumb fingers, trying pluck the fuse off the crackers.

The morning trip to St Thomas was even better than the evening one. May be that was because we managed to sneak in without paying the parking ticket and Camera ticket hahaha. Now you must know why we went as early as 5.30 am :-) Also there was Ashwath accompanying us which means double the fun, because of his antics! I had wonderful time fooling around the place and clicking random pictures. I even caught hold of a snail which was lying on the road  You can view them here http://picasaweb.google.com/assydude/JourneyStThomasMt#  and prayed for peace for the dead snails and frogs hehehe

                                     

How much ever I try to be a serious guy, I just fail and land face first on the ground, in front of my friends. This considering, I was serious, unsocial guy who rarely talks to anyone but his friends and is absolutely unsocial with females is quite a change! Blogging has totally changed me, as it opened more vistas i realised i was being too rigid and wasting whole lot of opportunities to have fun. I am really blessed and gifted to have such wonderful friends around me all the time.

Later that day Vignesh whom i call Vennesh and lot other profane things which i dont want to express here, his friend Pramodh whom i have also become friends with and last but not least Keerthi whom i affectionately call Deedee ( For more info view her profile pic, courtesy my editing), visited my place to design a “Dustbin”. Now dont laugh, that’s community service for the Elliot’s beach area! These pwndaworse mates have really gotten close to me. Everything happened so quick with us. We were an instant hit with each other, no inhibitions whatsoever. Only person i need to hang out with among the pwdaworse is Vinay.

Apart from some ‘Deedee’ish behavior from Vennesh who was fiddling with my facebook page and twitter page it was quite nice. Only “The button” which asked him not to press here was the “like button”. On the contrary Deedee was very “chamathu” and was not troubling this Dexter. Pramodh was giving suggestions while meddling with his mokka micromax phone, he bought the day before. If only he had listened to me, he could have bought this beauty. We wrapped up the design only in the last hour or so. One the whole it was quite a funfilled day which was topped off with a nice chat at the motta maadi with Hari and Machi, where i almost dozed of if it wasn’t for the rain.

Though the 8hr Tax class was cancelled, courtesy Jal cyclone on Sunday, I was rendered powerless for about 10hrs, second week in a row. For the past week or so there have been so many mood swings. One moment I feel like I was born to do all the things i do and another moment I feel why the hell was i born. What has hit me hard and haven’t helped me one bit is that we friends, are slowly but surely parting away! We’ve been so close for the last 6 years and i love my friends so much, it’s so hard think of a week without hanging out with them at the ‘motta maadi’.  

All I can do is console myself by saying it’s just wishful thinking that they are moving away and believe as people say “Bhagawan oru kadava moodina innoru Kadava thorappaan” I am waiting for the other door!


Alternative text

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Gopiyaan fans Hai – The haun song

7 blesses 'n' curses
  Most of you know that I hang out a lot at the “Motta Motta maadi” which basically, is the roof of a lift room and the topmost point of my friends flat. We were chatting random shit and making fun of each other. Hari, one of friends took off as usual to speak with his "friends" who are "girls" in conference mode. Exactly when he left, another friend of mine Ravi said “Otha ore Gopiyaan Fans hai..Wait! we can sing the same when he comes back and own him" I bumped in and said “Machi Why dont we record it” and we all started singing “Gopiyaan fans hai” in chorus and then i gave “Haun” touch at the end. And the haun song was born.

I just didn’t want to stop there. Hence i cooked up some more versions of the same song, same tune but yet different like Himmesh’s remixes. Each version last just 10 seconds. The remixes include Robot version, Alien version, Baby or some mouse version, Chest beating formula mug up version, chorus football stadium yelling version, Ghost- Mohini pisasu version and last but not the least Great Khali version.
SP_A0322                                                      
The Autokaran/Autowala version is specially dedicated for the autokarans who have tortured me heavily since yesterday, playing songs in loud speaker, which are totally unrelated to Ayudha Poojai or Vijaydashmi. They were playing songs on the lines of “Vijay dashed me da” like “Kattabomman paera adikuthu kuliru” (Hey kattabomman’s grandson its cold haun!) How apt for that is a haun song. Hear that version at your own you might suffer high trauma! But if you are gutsy enough, try it.
Gopiyaan Fans hai by vencurd

Alternative text

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Yee Nivvor Knaa

     There is not a more imbalanced town in all of the UK than the town of Alston, when it comes to Men:women ratio. Perhaps its half namesake 'Bere Alston' might stake claim of it. Together they have the most imbalanced Men:Women ratio (17:1) Women are rare commodity at Alston. Even the lads at the town wanted to address this issue and they set up a website appealing for the regeneration of the society at Alston. Vincent Pearle was one among them.

"Hey Vinnie isn't time for yer work at the market" his dad, Tim pearle shouted at him.

"Aye dad! yee mind yer own, I knaa" said an annoyed Vinnie. Who left the place as his mam was yelling " Hey pet! Take yer breakfast pet!"

Tim was very worried about Vinnie, as he was growing restless and lonely day by day "Look how wor laddie is taakin". It has been a long time since they had a father and son time.

   Vinnie was working as an accountant in one of the metal shops in the market. After all the region was known for its rich minerals and was a mining area. He would work from 10 in the morning to 6 in the evening. That day he finished up early and went into the Turks Inn near the market place. His eyes caught a blonde lassie. It was his ex, Mae, who had dumped him. She was with a tall, well built guy. He just could not watch her being with another guy that soon. He then stormed off the inn.

   He went to his room, shut the door and was thinking hard watching the ceiling of his room. He just couldn't be there. He wore the coat and then took off to his favourite hang out when he was low, The Alston Station. At 1000m above sea level it is quite a high place to be there. Perhaps that would make him feel high when he is actually feeling low. He would gaze the stars and the majestic South Tyne. Alston Station once used to host trains that carry limestone, coal and zinc from this area to Carlisle. It was a terminus between Newcastle and Haltwhistle. Nowadays its just a heritage line and a tourist spot.


He was sitting in one of the benches at the station. Suddenly he felt a hand touching his shoulder and his balls were in his mouth. "Divvent fear me laddie it's yer dad" consoled Tim. "Why wont yee leave me alaine" Vinnie was seemingly annoyed at his dad's presence "Yee divvent knaa what i feel" Tim's voice was raised and replied "I divvent knaa what yee feel? Ah knaa! Ah knaa!"






1975, Alston Moor, Alston Station


  The Train carrying the miners from Newcastle was arriving at the station. A pale guy with black hair got down at Alston "hoo, Where's the netty" He was asking for the toilet to the station master.
"There's the toilet" the station master Mcklusky showed him the way to the toilet.

The Train was about to start. Tim Pearle was in a hurry as the train was starting its journey to Carlisle, he thanked  Mcklusky and alighted the train on the move. While doing so, he saw a pretty lass sitting in the cabin. He was waving at her like he was waving at Mcklusky. The girl was smiling back at him. He was leaving for Carlisle to carry out his mining job.

"Hey chief, put me in alston mines i'll work yonder. Put me there! Put me there" Tim was asking his Chief Mr Macintosh.

"Okay Tim, I'll put you there but what will i get? Are you ready for a wage cut?" Macintosh asked jokingly.

"Ah'll get yee a laddie to call yee uncle Macintosh" said Tim. Two weeks later he was posted at Alston. He stayed there along with the other workers.

The next day, he went by to Mcklusky's office. No one was around but for the pretty lass.

"hoo, what's yer name? Ahm Tim", Tim tried to make a conversation.

"I'm Sara, daughter of Mr Mcklusky and i dont understand a word you are saying" retorted Sara.

"I am Geordie I am a toon nar Newcastle" as Tim tried hard to speak in posh recieved pronunciation.

"Miss, Would like to have dinner with me tonight?" asked Tim.

Sara said that she would and said "your 'Recieved Pronunciation' is a mockery, just tone down your geordie". As they were talking, Mcklusky entered in and then Tim told that he was working at Alston and had a short conversation with McKlusky.

As months grew by, Sara grew fond of Tim's boorishness and Tim, Sara's tenderness. They say “unlike poles attract”, it was happening live here. Mcklusky didnt approve of their relationship. He refused that he wouldnt let her girl marry a miner who is at best, a boor. Sara argued that she could change him. Mcklusky made a vow that if she managed their community accept him at the the ball just a week from then, he would consider.

Sara was trying hard to change Tim, from a boor to a gentleman. He taught him how to walk, exchange pleasantaries, keep a smiling face when they are actually mad at the person? Sara said "Lets start with 'Would you care for some tea?', now repeat!
"Waad yee care fre sam tea!" Sara lost it and yelled "Not in geordie you fool in proper english" It was getting tougher and tougher as she was teaching etiquettes, perhaps the toughest was to make him dance. He stepped on her feet plenty of times.

The day arrived when Sara had to present Tim to her community. Sara was waiting for Tim to arrive and she was very anxious. There he came, clean shaven, with a boe, vest and a nice suit to go with it. He looked one with her community but that was only a part of the problem. He had to mingle with them. He went to the place where all the men were standing and introduced himself. "A toast fre Alston" he said. People where staring at him and Sara quickly came to the rescue "A toast for Tim's attempt at geordie mockery". Sara was whispering "Ask me for dance! Right now!". Tim grabbed Sara's hand held her by her hips and majestically started dancing. They were truly the apple of their eyes. They looked perfect together.

Tim was enormously happy, as everything was going as per the plan. He got bit carried away with the booze. One became two, two became four and it started multiplying. Tim was totally drunk and he approached the stage and the band stopped playing. When a person drinks he does not only vomit food but also the truth.

“Hey fowks I’m just a miner trying te fit in so tha I could marry Sara. Yee leik it or not I will marry Sara”


Sara quickly pulled him off the stage but the damage had been done. Mcklusky had a smug “I told you so” look. Sara took Tim to his room at the mansion where the workers stayed.

The next morning Tim with a bad headache tried to meet Sara. Mcklusky confronted him “Hey geordie! You are not getting my daughter, she doesnt want to see you, get away!”


Tim's bad headache and anxiousness to see Sara and apologise made him throw a punch at Mcklusky and he went down screaming. Sara came rushing out and yelled at Tim “You boor! get away I dont want to see you again” A heart broken Tim went back to his place.

Tim was posted at haltwhistle for 3 weeks. Rumours were doing rounds that people where getting laid off and Alston Station was getting closed and that they are unmanning the stations, that means no Station masters. The were gradually closing down the route because the roads unusable during winters. Three weeks had passed and Tim got laid off. Tim returned only to know that Mcklusky and Sara had left Alston on the last service that commenced on May 1976. Tim was seated in one of benches at Alston sobbing over him losing his job and love.

Tim told all of this to Vinnie. Vinnie was caught unaware that his father had got such a past.

“It wez actually the same time in May ah wez bubblin(crying) leik yee in this exact bench. Yee knaa laddie Sara left me cos I was a boor an then yer mam held on to me cos I was a gentleman. since then we have lived a happy leif. crazy world! Yee nivvor knaa  what comes next in leif, laddie dont lose hope” Tim wiped his tears and both walked back home.

It was an emotional night for both father and son. Vinnie was very happy that they opened up to each other. When you share sorrows to others, the burden in your heart decreases and you sleep hard. That is what he did that night.

It was 10 am the next day. Vinnie was still in bed. The phone was ringing, his mother picked up and woke Vinnie.

 “Hey pet! there’s someone on the phone fre yee, pet!”


Vinnie reluctantly took the receiver. “Hi am Adele from Middleborough. I saw your profile on the Alston regeneration society website and i quite like it and your geordie. Are we good here? Can we meet?” Someone had seen his profile in the regeneration society website and had called him.

Vinnie was shocked pleasantly and he repeated what his father had said last night “Yee nivvor Knaa what will come next in leif” and continued his conversation with the woman.

Credits Image - Alston Station by Wandering Soul Courtesy - www.deviantart.com 

Alternative text

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Pwndaworse meet and Why i am a comedy piece

10 blesses 'n' curses
   I know it’s quite late to write a post about it. But better late than never. Not that i am too busy but too lazy to post early. One perfect Saturday evening while I, Vignesh and Keerthi were group chatting on yahoo about our group blog “Punch Pwdaworse” (Do Follow it! I write there too) et al. Suddenly our idea mani Vignesh suggested that we would meet up and talk trash. I used it to my advantage and fixed up the meeting at Kalima Hotel, which serves Vada Pav, on Sunday the 19th. One stone two mangoes!

   The day arrived and so did Vignesh at Ashok pillar only to face my ire. I texted him to get to the Ashok Pillar and this bugger replied “You mean Pillaiyar? No pillaiyar around” Seriously hopeless at wits' end, it took him some gazing around to actually grasp what i meant. Voila! we met but we had to go to Vadapalani to meet up with keerthi and then got Kalima.

    Now it was my time to play the fool that I always was. We were standing apposite to a Shiva Temple in Vadapalani. Apparently I was of the opinion that any temple as big as that must be Vadapalani Murugan Temple, after all Murugan is Shiva's son no? I dont know Just as expected she ended up at the other temple. After all the chaos and confusion we met. 

   We were then off to Kalima Hotel. We sat and placed the order “2 plate paani pooris and 1 vada pav(me)” I was thinking “Pani Poori! even here d'oh. Tasteless fellows!”. My Vada pav arrived a bit later than the pani pooris for obvious reasons. These two didnt even eat the the whole of the pani pooris and they went on to order two vada pavs! This Keerthi is quite different you see. Let us now spin a cycle or whatever thing that satisfies the requirement of a circle and get to the flashback hypnotized. A year ago if you had took her to a ThalappaKatti Joint or Velu Military hotel she would kattify a full kattu i mean food filled till neck! But now she’s a vegan. Holy cow! she doesnt consume even dairy items. Now thats the cue. The vada pav was so full of butter and she refused to eat it. I had to eat that vada pav, anything that is not meat is vegetarian for me! I wonder what would she be asking for; like a friend of mine who goes by the nickname Kong “I want vegetable rice without vegetables” Likewise “I want Panneer Butter Masala without Panneer and Butter Smug” But she settled for onion Bajjis.

   I know I am very Saarp and a superman who wears pants over my undies star, but still I am busy you see, I cant save people all the time! Not talking See this I say! I have proof! They want me to save them!



   Thank God! WhewI didnt order saMoocha Channa. I think they got frustrated with Keerthi not eating their Vada Pav and edited “Veg Bonda” to “VEG PO DA” I know one guy who would be Plahaha-ing after seeing this “Chelli Bajji” our very own bhajji! Harbhajan Singh Plaha

   Like Kalima wasn’t enough, after plotting the budget we went to Marry Brown for some beverages. They were telecasting Guyana Vs Lions match there and what would you expect from me but for outrage and ranting on seeing the Guyanese play. Two ice teas, 1 milk shake, some ringtone exchanging and some banter later, we left Marry Brown. That was after the Watchman gave a look that meant “Please leave before i do it for you Time out

   From there walked the bus stop and with that continued some more banter till the bus arrived. Keerthi left at vadapalani and we both took a bus from vadapalani. What would you expect two nerd wearing a white string across their body to talk about while travelling? G-string? Nay! Just String Theory and some psychology Nerd.


   What happened was I once again I proved that i was a pucca comedy piece. I didnt even realise that i had travelled almost 3 kms past the stop which i had to get down, despite the conductor warning me. Another flashback while we were waiting at the Bus stop hypnotized, Vignesh “I once got down three stops before my college and had to walk from there Dont tell anyone Me “Haha such a loser!Smug”. What an ass i was! what a pwnage! I ended up doing a “Ross Geller” type comedy.

Then I walked back home tired. My mom asked “You told that you’d be by 6.30”

Me: Yeah! There was no bus and we were talking for a long time.

Mom: With Whom?

Me: Me and my blog friends! Vignesh and Keerthi

Mom: Surprise You have friendship with girls and you didnt tell me!

Me: What the….Angry You never asked!

   With a feeling of disbelief she said “Ennamo po! I dont know what you people talk!Rolling Eyes  I got damn irritated. God has given us, human beings one power “The power to ignore” Not listening I stormed to my already planned “motta motta madi meet” with my friends. I vented all my frustration with them. End of the day two things are sure. I had blast, meeting Vignesh and Keerthi; I am 100% sure that I am a comedy piece and comedy cop, some people live in Stone age and there is no place like “Motta Motta Maadi” Period! oh go on

P.S If you haven't read my First post @ Pwndaworse “(no) Parking In Front Of The Gate Syndrome” Do read it here http://bit.ly/9Ap70h


Alternative text

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The Banana Joke’s accounting interpretation!

All of us, Tams would know about the epic Goundamani and Sendhil Banana joke. Here is an journalised interpretation of the the comedy or an attempt at it. Before we move into the accountancy part let us first see the comedy once again.




Banana Joke Accounted_thumb[5]

And thus, Goundamani despite repeated attempts to find the “other banana” gave up and wrote off the missing banana/Rs1 as bad debts/Gandhi kanakku. Sendhil though still maintains he has no liability towards Gounder because that banana was the other Banana. But after some investigating and auditing one can find out
            Banana a/c  dr                                                                                     Rs 1
               To Commission recieved                                                                                          50p
               To Goundamani a/c                                                                                                  50p
           (Being the other banana given to gounder
             and the other swallowed as commission)
Okay thanks for stopping and withstanding this geeky blade

Alternative text

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Return – Blog-a-ton-14

27 blesses 'n' curses
This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 14; the fourteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

One can comprehend a number of meanings from the word RETURN. Let us see how different people comprehend RETURN differently

 

Makkus Return:

Amit: Abeyaar! We should file a case on Microsoft yaar

Mani: why Machaan?

Amit: They say press the return key yaar iss me return key nahi hai yaar

Mani: Yes Machaan! There is only Enter key da! Cheaters!

 

Tradosphere Return:

Entrepreneur: I want to increase my “Returns On Investment”, decrease the “sales returns” so that my profit will increase. I dont care about the purchases returns though.

Auditor: You better file your “Income Tax Returns” or else i have to file a penalty for you!

 

Wannabistan Return:

Amit Johnson: Mate! I cant return to India.

Manische: Yup! crappy roads, crappy politician and crappy everything

BigBadAussie: “Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oi! Oi! Oi!” Look who has returned to our neighborhood, 2 wannabes .

 

Blogosphere Return:

Blogger1: Hey! Great blog and great post. Can you visit mine in return and give your thoughts

Blogger2: Thank you much. Yeah for sure.

Blogger 2: Great post, nice post and good one.

Blogger1: So nice of you thanks for the visit

 

Twiterverse Return:

IamABC: @BeingBBC #nowfollowing you

BeingBBC: Following back in return :-) RT @IamABC: @BeingBBC #nowfollowing you

 

Aham Return:

Wife: Here, have some “Mysore pa” that i made.

Husband: Wow thank you so much!

Wife: hey ! what are doing?

Husband: The nail had loosened a bit and i was searching for hammer and your Mysore pa came to the rescue. I wish I could return to those days when my mom used to cook!

 

Facebook Return:

FB to Crouching Tiger: Hidden Dragon suggested you to like “Dont tickle the dragon” –  Like

FB to Hidden Dragon:  "Crouching tiger suggested you to like “The Real King of the Jungle” – Like

 

Deemed University Return:

Owner: One seat = RS 50 x 10000

Student: Here I have  Rs 1000 x 500

Owner: Application rejected! I want only Rs 50 x 10000 nothing less!

Student: Striaght Face Clearly he doesnt no calculation.

 

Student kammbinati return:

Former Student1: Machan In college we teased life da

Former Student2: Today we are being teased by it

Former Student1: I want to return back to college so badly

Former Student3: Why wont it?  You were more interested in the Tea shop gyan!

 

Spot Fix Return:

Fixer: I will give you 5000 pounds return the favor

Player: Dont worry we have “no balls”

 

Many Mor Happy Return:

Farmer to Cow: Many  Mor, curd, ghee, butter, milk returns of the day

Cow: Maa Maa (what would expect a cow to say?)

(Note: Mor in Tamil means Buttermilk hence the wish)

 

There may be many Laws of Returns but this the “Most Important Return”:

Go! Enough of wasting your time on this crap. RETURN to your work Laughing Dont tell anyone

Before that I urge all the readers who survived till now, to give your valuable brickbats or to click your desired option below the post if you are too lazy to comment.

 

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Alternative text

Saturday, August 21, 2010

From “Sober "Satyavati” To “Morose Machaan”

9 blesses 'n' curses
This post is not part of the Sleepy Sunday contest –II by “We Blog” because the author was subject to mind extraction and someone planted an idea now, using inception technique. Hence he is posting this unclassifiable bullshit now

The contest was a 300 words Interpretation of a picture. Take look at this tears/love failure feeling inducing downright sober picture.


Before

Most of posts I read were basically poems. There were some good ones with rhyming words. Poems and I dont go together. Rhyme for me is very important so that i can recite it like a rap. To sum it all up, the whole mood of almost all the posts were so sober, even a take it easy, lunatic, tea totaling and happy go lucky guy like me wanting to have a spliff, a large ( mixing water and side dish included) and to grow beard.
Just to spice up my mood and few others i gave the picture some twist and made it morose, hell yeah!Dancing



If you notice carefully, you can notice the Indian flavor of this rockstar. Yes you guessed it right the guitar is being played in Tambura style. The babe is now a dude! The “Sober Satyavati” has now become a “Morose Machaan”. I feeling quite cheerful after doing this. How do you feel after viewing this torture?

Alternative text

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

A hard look at ourselves

12 blesses 'n' curses

In the world we live in, it is very easy to be cynical and rubbish everything. Before we start questioning the politicians or the government we should take a hard look at ourselves.

A person is walking on the road. Why? Because the platforms are encroached by shopkeepers. He goes, buys Paan and some groceries and the shopkeeper gives no bill. The person chews paan and where does he spit? On the ground. He walks down a street and suddenly due to the over consumption of water, he wants to pee. He chooses a corner and sees whether there are any God pictures painted there and pees. Since nowadays people become atheists for no valid reason other than the cool quotient and ability to pee anywhere, even on the Gods. He then goes to the Parking lot where he parks his vehicle. He gets to the vehicle after jumping over the stagnant water and slush left over by the rains. He gives his token and what does the token guy do?  He tears the token, throws it and that money isn't accounted. He starts the ride back home. Now our guy sees a “red traffic signal”, okay wait there is no policemen in the vicinity. What does he do?  He zooms ahead despite the red signal. Next Signal he sees a Policeman, with reverence/fear of paying fine/bribe to them, does skip the signal and he inches before the stop line which he shouldn’t and takes off with 3-4 seconds still left for the signal to change.

Let us see what are in the control of that single person. He could have not spit paan; peed in the corner, stopped at the signal and stopped before the stop line. Now the shopkeeper could have not encroached the platforms, accounted his purchases and paid proper taxes. The Token guy could also do the same thing and provide better facilities. But no one does that. This is not the only cross section view of the society, so many atrocities happen. Let me list out a few. The LPG gas delivery guy supplies the ‘home usage cylinders’ for business activities to get extra money. He then delivers the same cylinder which has been used off, to the real owners which is obviously not full. No auto guy in Chennai uses a Meter to receive payment from the commuter. They have Auto groups too where they set the tariffs their selves. They ask for extra tariff when petrol prices increase and the auto actually runs with diesel. The landlords charge totally disproportionate rent and ask the tenants to pay special tariff for the electricity used and they wont provide any receipt for rent payments. People illegally tap electricity and get away without paying a penny. The shops pay the unit rate of household for the power they use when they actually should pay business rate, thanks to authorities. Factories dont dump their chemical wastes properly. Just look at the state of the Holy Ganga. It is so shameful. In my city they just destroyed a river which was used for navigation and reduced it to a gutter. How do we preserve monuments? We write our names accompanied with our lover’s name.

All the things I have mentioned above has nothing to do with politicians. This is what we so called “citizens” do. When as citizens, if we are so corrupt, how the hell could we expect our politicians who are also citizens basically, to be honest. “Our country is corrupt, i am fed up” huh come on! we ourselves suck big time and cant even adhere to simple rules and we have the guts to call our nation corrupt wow!

Charity begins at home, they say and how true. If we are to take our nation forward let us just do the things which we have in our control in the right manner. Little drops of water make a mighty ocean. Do you know our planet recieved rains for millions of years to form the worlds ocean in existence today. Everything starts slow and small.

I am not asking anything big from you. The next time please throw that waste into the dust bin and please dont stare at people who do so. We are not aliens. Please adhere to the traffic rules.My sincere plea to everyone, please dont corrupt and engage in activities like i have mentioned and please show dissent by boycotting them.

I am following and will continue follow whatever I have said.  Please start now, it is never too late. Let the awakening begin.

This post is participating in the BlogAdda contest with the theme "Proud to be an Indian - Mera Bharat Mahaan". The contest is sponsored by Pringoo.com. You may read other participating posts and the contest details here.


Alternative text

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Kalmadeception – CWG

2 blesses 'n' curses

Krishashok recently created a meme Kalmadecption, a remix of Inception and Kalmadi’s folly. Here are my 3 contributions to the meme with template Courtesy - @Krishashok

1. The Bearby faced ASS²in

140262672 

2. Kalmadeception – Goundamani edition

Goundamni Edition

3. New “Lease” of life 

140254667

 

I hope you enjoyed it HappyWave


Alternative text

Sunday, July 25, 2010

‘Paul’um Pazhamum. What the Octofcuk is this?

The world can be divided into people who know Paul the psychic Octopus and people who dont, after the Football World Cup ended. Paul recently even got a honorary Spanish citizenship. I caught with Paul and asked a few questions which are in tune with the very existence of this world.


Question no:1

What’s more important to the existence of the world rather than my Chartered Accountancy course? So I asked Paul whether I would get through CA or end up stealing double CA’s i.e CACA’s (crow)  ammavasai (no moon day) offering.
5
He answered “Only the cold days” How inappropriate was that?

Question no:2
I got worked up when Paul answered it like an ass, that is my birth right! I even thought of becoming a non-vegetarian! I asked  if we would chop his tentacles and make a soup of it, will it be called Octokaal soup? (kaal in Tamil means foot)



Once again the answer was “Only the cold days”. Okay this is getting really annoying but he does have a point. We have soup usually when the weather is cold, dont we? So I will take that as a yes and it is “Octokaal Soup”

Question no:3
Now Octopaul is losing his credibility, giving the same answer. Hence I asked him that if I asked him any question will he answer “only the cold days”.
3 He answered that someone actually beat me to this question and asked him the same yesterday and that he would answer the same.


Question no:4
I wanted to give the poor thing a second chance and warm him up for something great. I asked him a question whether he has 8 tentacles because only 6 were visible.
2 Voila he answered it right!


Question no:5
He is now ready for the most important question in the history of the mankind which has been haunting the most intelligent of the minds, The Mystery of the missing Vaazha Pazham (Banana) Once upon a time there lived and still is alive a Tamil comedian by the name Goundamani who is known for his decibel level and kicking skill against his sidekick Sendhil. On one fine day Gounder asked Sendhil to buy him 2 vaazha pazhams (bananas)  But Sendhil gave Gounder only one Vaazha Pazham. When asked by Gounder where was the other one Sendhil answered “ Ithu dhaan anne adhu”/ “This is the other one/”Yeh doosra hai”. Gounder tried every trick in the bag but for pulling the octopus out of the hat. He even tried frisking Muralidaran for the doosra. So I asked Octopaul about it.
1
The puzzle has been solved. It was Octopaul after all the octofuss. Now the old Tamil song “Paulum Pazhamum” has taken a new meaning. Now that the mystery is solved Gounder can die peacefully and Sendhil need not live the guilt the entire life!
 
I am participating in the WeBlog's Sleepy Sunday contest! You may read other participating posts HERE

Alternative text

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Yet another Tag due to lag or lack of thinking

5 blesses 'n' curses

Avada Kedavra tagged me and here are the 10 to 1 answers from my side. I promised myself to act like an ass throughout this tag. BEWARE!

 

Ten how’s:

1. How did you get one of your scars?

A: I was playing with a toy car which sparks fire at the back. An ordinary kid would play with and leave it, not me. I broke the car took the part which emits the spark and started playing with it. It fell near the wheel motor near the well. Me pretending to be Superman and not tall enough to switch the motor off, tried to stop it with my iron hands. Zoom a spin i couldn't stop it. This is how my finger look now

2. How did you celebrate your last birthday?

A: I have stopped celebrating them

3. How are you feeling at this moment?

A: Annoyed

4. How did your night go last night?

A: Sleepless, searching for random blogger profiles

5. How did you do in high school?

A: Promise! I didnt do anyone at school Whew

6. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing?

A: I did tapas and got this T-shirt.

7. How often do you see your best friends?

A: The frequency of sunrise and sunset / politician changing parties / celebs changing partners

8. How much money did you spend last month?

A: Whatever my parents gave me.

9. How old do you want to be when you get married?

A: Probably when i get a job

10. How old will you be at your next birthday?

A: 21

Nine what’s:

1. What’s your mothers name?

A: Usha

2. What did you do last weekend?

A: Played cricket, football and laughed a lot with my friends

3. What is the most important part of your life?

A: Laughing and having fun, no matter what!

4. What would you rather be doing? 

A: Having a laugh with my friends

5. What did you last cry over?

A: Cant remember, it’s been more than a decade since i cried for anything!

6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?

A: Up beat music

7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?

A: Sense of humour

8. What are you worried about?

A: My IPCC course for Chartered Accountancy

9. What did you have for breakfast?

A: South Indian Sedative Pongal!

Eight you’s:

1. Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?

A: I liked them on Facebook pages and status updates

2. Have you ever had your heartbroken?

A: You will be, by the time you finish reading this tag

3. Have you ever been out of the country?

A: If country means area outside cities, yes!

4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?

A: The answer is similar to that of your answer to whether the sky is blue.

5. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?

A: I have punched them on their face!

6. Have you ever had sex on the beach?

A:  I wouldn’t do that and moreover i am a virgin

7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you?

A: I haven't dated anyone yet.

8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day?

A: There are 2 types of people. One kind reads hard and the other reads hardly! I belong to the latter

Seven who’s:

1. Who was the last person you saw?

A: My mom

2. Who was the last person you texted?

A: My friend, Hari

3. Who was the last person you hung out with?

A: All my friends

4. Who was the last person to call you?

A: Find out yourself “ Sir we are calling from Nowhere bank do you want somebody’s loan because nobody wants it”

5. Who did you last hug?

A: My teammates, when i scored last night in the football match.

6. Who is the last person who texted you?

A: Hari

7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?

A: If it is meant in romantic way i haven't said it to anyone yet

Six where’s:

1. Where does your best friend(s) live?

A: A street away

2. Where did you last go?

A: To Toilet

3. Where did you last hang out?

A: Monkey bar

4. Where do you go to school?

A: Past

5. Where is your favorite place to be?

A: Motta Motta Maadi

6. Where did you sleep last night?

A; Not on the platform

Five do’s:

1. Do you think anyone likes you?

A: How can people not like me!

2. Do you ever wish you were someone else?

A: yes

3. Do you know the muffin man?

A: How much does a kilo of it cost? I know only Shakhtimaan!

4. Does the future scare you?

A: Yes It does

5. Do your parents know about your blog?

A: They dont know what a blog is!

Four why’s:

1. Why are you best friends with your best friend?

A: They are true to me and they trust me. I respect anyone who trusts me.

2. Why did you get into Blogging?

A: I wanted to everybody to notice the unnoticed side of me. I, like one of those Private Engineering colleges in TN,  am hardly recognised.

3. Why did your parents give you the name you have?

A: Supposedly it is the name of my dad’s friend

4. Why are you doing this survey?

A: Now this is a revelation. News channels need to cover this. I never knew this was a survey

Three if’s:

1. If you could have one super power what would it be?

A: Ability to control the human mind

2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?

A: It is like asking “Can you get back the Kachori you ate yesterday in today’s morning shit!” It cant happen and I never would do that!

3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring 1 thing, what would you bring?

A: I would get a boat! and get out of there!

Two would-you-ever’s:

1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you?

A: I will try Y’s and Z’s

2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? How does shaving save them?

A:  I would shave my head if i end up bald.

One last question:

1. Are you happy with your life right now?

A: I am the happiest person there would ever be!

If you have survived it till now, let me tell you that you have a strong heart and you wont get any heart attacks. Anyone who read this gets tagged, hahaha evil scheme Devil. If you dont have a blog do it in your Facebook notes


Alternative text

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Comedy cops

3 blesses 'n' curses

Comedy cops Entrance music:

You must have seen Comedy Cops doing comedy here, if you haven't see it. One fine day when we were sitting on the top of the Motta Motta Maadi we had an enlightenment.

IMG_1846

We thought if XYZ can make noise in the name of music, so can we. And this is the result of that. Our First assignment is to compose the Entrance music for Comedy cops, a short film which has shelved due to the request director Shankar so that he can release Rajini starrer “Eindhiran”

22073_331905308232_726333232_3687038_3555537_n


Comedy Cop- 1 -  Venky aka Comedy piece
Comedy Cop-2  -  Ashwath Athreya aka comedy time
Stone Drums    -   Ravi Shankar aka Vaangikko Shankar
Say trr trr        -   Hari Haran aka Mokkai Putter
Recording        -   Venkat Unbeaten aka Machi -the unparallel jai

 

Comedy Cops- Entra...

Disclaimer: We are not responsible for your temporary or permanent deafness


Alternative text

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Wish – Blog-a-ton- 12

9 blesses 'n' curses
This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 12; the twelfth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

A wish can be interpreted in two ways or may be even more. One way is wishing for stuff both tangible and intangible. If I start writing about these wishes, it wouldn’t end for eternity. So I am not going into all of this. The other one is wishing others. This may be a “Good morning” tweet or a “Good Night” tweet which gets endlessly tweeted and retweeted or wishing someone else at college or at work place.

But “wishing” has taken a new level with “Politicians” and “Film stars” Let us take an example of a politician.

SPM_A0238

This wish is for Mr S. Ramadoss the above wish is loosely translated into English as PrayingO bright light of the Thamizh race (also rays Winking) Please come! Please come!Not worthy

SPM_A0234

After the highness himself, it’s the rising son Mr Anbumani Ramadoss. Oops was I politically incorrect because Sun is the symbol of another party Confused Here is how he is wished “O! Our prince! Please come! Please come!”

[Note: His name has been murdered by the north Indian news readers as “Ambumanni Ramdoss” Anbu means love and ambu means “arrow”. So please dont say it that way. He is not Ramadoss and he is Anbumani. Ramadoss is his father]

 

13042006-THN20image1

Now This is how people wish film Stars. They call them “Thala” which means head or simply head of all operations. Every film star has his nickname which praises him. Vijay is wished as “ilaiya Thalapathy” / Young leader, Vijaykanth as “Captain”, Kamal Hasan as “Universal Hero”, Rajini as “Thalaivar” / Leader. Even the newbie have their own nickname, for e.g they are called “rising star” or he is added with prefix “young” along with existing big hero he resembles . The big heroes get a free milk abhishekam. That is the bonus of being a big hero.

So that is it! I have summed all the wishes i have noticed. If you have anything else to add please do so in the comments section. I would like to read those  comments Big Grin 

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Alternative text