Showing posts from 2009

This is howie do it!!

Hey guys I am Dubakoor Guru, yet another Incarnation of Venky like Venkey and Mankey . My main aim is to enlighten you guys how to do things.I am back once again with a “This is howie do it” guide. Last time I enlightened you guys about How to put together a Page 3 page. If you aren’t enlightened as yet, enlighten yourself by reading that once againhereOk! Now back to business, this time i am gonna teach you how to put together a promo song for Bollywood. Yep, you heard that right. I’ll leave a sample at the end of the post too. Now everything has been given in points for your purpose.1. Nowadays the opening songs are of hip hop genre, make sure it is of that kind.2. Dont get local artists to perform in that video.Instead  get Sardars from London to rap. Like in this video3. Now let us come to lyrics part. Most of the films like these, deal with money and how money is king and stuff like that. They enlighten you about the reality and ideality. So make sure your lyrics contain them.4. …

All in a day’s work

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 5; the fifth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
Disclaimer which actually claims something: The characters in this post exist only in this freak’s think tank if you find them in any water tank or temple tank or your Fishville tank or another place for that matter would like to meet them

“Your time is up; my time is now now; U can’t see me; my time is now” *alarm rings*
My world was awake but i was half asleep. I asked with my mouth which smelled closely to a concoction of rotten egg and onion, still dreaming about my job “ One coffee assistant”. “The guts you have, Keshu your time is really up and John Cena ain’t going to save you” As I heard my mom sound the warning bell I rushed to the bathroom; downloaded everything I uploaded last night (you must know what i mean) and rendered the bacteria homeless by showerin…

Commenting on the Commentaries

It’s been 3 weeks since i last blogged the reason being exams, fever, block and boredom and that seems to be a thing of past now. Now people will see me regularly in other blogs and my blog as well. No welcome back comments please

   I’ve been watching Test cricket between India and Sri Lanka for the past few days on Neo Cricket. The cricket commentary, I should say is really below par. To be honest the Sri Lankan commentary team is horrible. The coverage isn’t all that interesting either. RK was very disappointing; over stressing every time he ends a sentence. It is irritating and fake. I will quote a few examples here of some shoddy commentary.

Russell Arnold on Thilan Samarweera
“He ees a very good player. He starts off very slow and scores slow. He ees not afraid to play his strokes”
Come Russell what are you saying, this is verbal diahorrea. Just because you are a Sri Laankan you need not speak highly of every Sri Laankan player. what you are saying is equivalent to saying Ladoo …

As random as a post can get.

Appearances are Deceptive: If you take a glimpse at the sky, there would be snow white gorgeous looking things floating different shapes in the sea of blue. They look marvelous, dont they? Affirmative they sure do. Then there are clouds which are black rather grey. They dont look quite as pretty, do they? Relatively you can say yes they aren’t as pleasing as their fairer counterparts. But one thing that makes them invaluable is they are the ones which bring us the lifeline which makes the world go round, the rain.2 yrs ago i was leaving for home. I met this old guy with bald head looking pretty decent at the railway station. He asked me to hold him and help him up the stairs. I did. Just a few steps, his hand touched my peter aka piston you know what i am talking about. I thought it was mistake and carried on. A few more stairs, my peter was given a knock knock who’s there kind of thing. That does it, I gave a stare, pushed his hand and walked away. Spare a thought for women who are h…

Conquering Mt Semester

My so called Model Exams starts come Monday. While the uncorrected model papers of the yester semesters still haunts everyone. I think they ended up in the nearby waste paper mart without red ink crossing those wonderfully unwritten answers  and lots of stories right from the birth of Kamal to 50th yr celebration of Kamal in Indian cinema.

Ok enough of parody and getting back to business i have my semester in November. The Date has not been confirmed yet as usual as by MU (Madras University). This time it won’t be a cake walk for me. I have a mountain to climb; no i am not making a mountain of an ant mole rather from a heap of books. Just look at the size of them mate! It is surreal.

Being the Stupid that I am, I also signed up to write Clerical Exam for SBI which is also due this November. So the height of Mountain has increased by a few inches now.  I have this habit of immersing myself into books only just before the exams, to be precise a day before the exam. I wanted to chan…

3 days 2 nights and One love story.

  “Where am I? Who are you? Where is she?” Quick give him the anesthesia, we’ve got to calm him down. “Ah aah …………” Get the woman in the ICU hurry up fellas, we have lives at stake.   We were a match made in heaven perhaps heaven on earth. We were dating for 2 years. We knew each other since high school, only 2 years back I built courage went upto him. The All star Ball game, Busch Stadium; Barack Obama threw the first pitch. I still remember as it was yesterday. I bought 2 tickets for the ball game in the box. David Wright was struck out, I stood up to her, took out the ring and said “It needs 3 strikes to get out. It took only One for you to strike me out. I love you, will you marry me”, she was in tears and said yes. That yes, that one yes made my life. My joy knew no bounds. We booked a trip to the Everglades for our honey moon.

   It was sunny morning in the everglades, we teed off to the swamps just by the river to watch the alligators. It was and still is a big time alligator …

The Indian Dream

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 3; the third edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

    Indian Dream is pretty "complicated" like a Facebook relationship status. Summing up the dreams of more than a billion people ain’t easy. But, I had as usual two too conflicting views, one from Venkey (better half) and another from mankey (bitter half). To sum it up for you to decide there is Sri Sri Great Great Fake Fake Swami Venkatanda.

Venkey Says

“The dream of person, who earns daily wages, lives in a hut and doesn't get food to eat is; eating a nice meal 3 times a day; sending his children to school; to build a good roof to stop the rain water seeping and the sun beating down.

Then there is the salaried middle class man who has all the basic amenities he needs; food, water and shelter. But is greedy and stops enjoying what he has and dreams abou…

Midnight's call

This is my first attempt at writing a short story. I hope this one fits the bill because I have mixed feelings about it. Here it goes…..

   “ Time is now 11.00 AM” sounded the alarm. An arm just rose and hit on its head and went back to bed. “ Time now is 12.00 PM”, this time a leg kicked the clock out of its porch. “Time is now 1.00 pm”, a leg kicked, this time he was at the receiving end, drenched in water. “Now get up you lazy goose” his mom said. He reluctantly got up and went up grumbling, now to his laptop . “Welcome to Windows vista” it uttered. “Connecting to Local area network”….. “Loading…..” He started checking his mail and then updated his Facebook, Orkut, Twitter and every other social networking site in the World Wide Web. He was getting tired of resting and hit the bed to rest even more.

   2 years had passed since his graduation, yet there were no signs of him getting any job nor was he interested in one. His parents were worried about his atti…

Nammai Pol Oruvan ( some one like us)

I was sitting in front of my computer day dreaming of getting the tickets of Kamal and Mohan Lal starrer “Unnaipol Oruvam” ( someone like you), the remake of the Hindi movie “A Wednesday”. That’s when my dad blocked my vision showing a ticket to the movie. I thoroughly enjoyed this one heck of a movie.The film deals with how a common man can really bring a city to a stand still. It picks up the issue of how to fight terrorism. The films Starts with Kamal Haasan a common man who plants bombs all round the city and call the Commissioner of Police enacted by Mohan Lal and negotiates with him to release terrorists to a location. Rest of the story revolves around what does he do with the terrorists and does he do what he actually wanted. The Dialogues in the movie are really sharp, inspiring and witty at places. the dialogue uttered by an ethical hacker, who comes to track Kamal’s location is one of the best . When Mohan Lal asks him whether he can work with this computer he says“ sir, t…

An Irksome Story told to a 7 yr old

My 7 yr old cousin Aarthi, Stayed back at our place a few days back. She wanted me to tell her a story. The freak’s grey matter was in search mode now.  It found a theme and built up on it. The result was the remix of Mahabharata, MAHABOREATHA.

    I started, “ There were two  Rap gangs” only to be  interrupted, “ what is a rap Venky?”. I replied in only the way i can, “ good question ;You say rhymes, don't you?  Eat a kozhukattai and say that very fast, that is rapping ” She gave a big grin

   I continued with my incessant crap talk . “The 2 rap gangs were Funky Five Pan Doves and Giant Gs. The Funky five were Top Dogg Dhamn, ARJ, Bheems, Nak and Sak. The GGs were many in number but notable were DJ Duri and his bro DJ Douche.  All of them honed their rapping skills at Deadly Drone’s Rap class. ARJ was the best of the lot.  

    It all was hunky dory until Big Daddy D composed a Dapaang Kuthu ( A style of folk music in Tamil Nadu). The advisor of Daddy D was Big Poppa B-ees…

My First Shot at 55 fiction

Peops this is my first shot at 55 fiction and a nice chance to take a pot shot at me.

First of all what is 55 fiction ? After reading quite a few 55 fiction posts, i can safely say they are thoughts which may be fictional or real, expressed within a word limit of 55 . 
The above  paragraph is mandatory because your reader will be lost in thoughts  “what is 55 fiction?” . They might think this is some ghost story and run away. If you don’t write this then you will be poked in the eyes by God in your sleep.

I don't know whether what i have presented falls in such genre or is just a gag, anyways here it is.

The TaLe Of ThE  2 BrAtS:

ABC Payer… cash payer:Quick gimme 2 of that for killing them as i told you yesterday. 
XYZ Nair: bury them carefully, it’s dangerous. Here, take this cocktail of chemicals along with that. I can guarantee  this will work its magic on them.
Next day………
ABC Payer: At last i got those brats. R.I.P ( Rats in Pieces)

NOTE: Catching rats using tea stall Masala…