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Showing posts from May, 2009

Result day Mayhem

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No i am not talking about the elections results or my MU results which are due to come 3 months later. But the 10th matriculation results, why u may ask, because i have sibling who wrote it.


It was yet another day like every Saturday. I divinely opened my eyes in front of the computer screen and did computer namaskar and uttered "yahoo namaha", "google namaha" and started my day. I carried on the computer puja till about 8.30. Then i moved on to my other God and started doing channel abhishekam by surfing through channels.It was 9.15, my mother pinched me and told to look for my siblings results, i was arguing about govt inefficiency and its inaccuracy. Tong! hit a nail on my head, FLASH NEWS: results will be announced at 9.30AM. That was enough for my mother to make me move. So i switched from TV to computer.


I looked at the results and my mother's face, it was bad. I played a bluff and said my sibling failed, face turned from bad to worse. So couldn't stand…

Gandhi thatha smiling at IPL Marketing

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The IPL has taken cricket marketing to levels unknown to man. Be it Strategy breaks, beauty contest, dancing beerleaders aka cheerleaders or human billboards, it has literally cashed in on every opportunity, even toilet paper will contain DLF IPL emblem. It will be evident now that i don't give a damn to this type of marketing. Like it or not we have to put up with this nonsense.
Let me start with "stratallergy breaks". This is the most evident maal making idea of IPL. It was an allergy to everyone but for the advertisers.


I dug deep and found out what happens during this maal time.
"Players:
Strategy discussion for exactly 50 seconds [ only meaningful thing]Loosen their abdomen guard and scratch itches in the bodyDrink some Gatorade[ actually they do that literally every over]Answer some stupid questions from even more stupid comperes [ the Chinese guy Chang is a good example]""Presenters:
Break [ Ads=money]Call up some player from bench irritate himBreak[mor…

MAD-RAS UNIVERSITY

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While i am writing this, you would be happily putting your feet in some cold water and beat the heat. You know what am i doing sitting here thinking about my next exam which seems to be near oblivion. Have you heard of exams lasting a month. Pretty much similar to that of two planets having different revolutionary periods, Mad-ras University is out of this world (from now onwards MU).They are the masters of making jackasses out of almost everyone. If you expect to fail you will pass, expect to pass you will fail. It is even more tougher to understand it, probably catching osama is easier. I did some observation to come with this


What is so special about MU?
Exams lasting a month.Vacations between exams ( like the one i am enjoying right now).Quick result publishing within 45 days with 3 days months of grace.Supports creativity. you write your own story and screenplay.Answers last for pages.Hall ticket will be a mystery until 2 days before exam.
Example of how to write MU exam:

Mani Ratnam…

My First Vote

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May 13th was the day i cast my first vote, but sadly it didn’t matter much because my candidate an entrepreneur is not known to many. I thought it would be a new experience and would make a mark in my life, but i was only left with a mark on my left index finger. It was yet another passable day in my life. Just like you would buy milk, stand in a queue, wait for your turn, show your voter ID, get your finger inked, press the button your done . But pressing the button part was fun, childish isn't it? Nevertheless it was good experience to press that and say what you want to the world.

It was really sad to see people being turned down after they had only their ration card and not voter ID. One bright thing is unlike the other big cities, my city didn’t have any mambo jumbo about voting . It had a 68% voter turn out. Pretty impressive compared to others and nothing out of the world.

The ADs of celebrities and others urging to vote turned out to be a big joke. Mumbai and Delhi were path…

Vote our country to glory

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With the general elections 2009 in its third phase there is excitement in all the so called NEWS channels, endlessly running updates and predicting the elections. You would see some four guys arguing something and the anchor of the show interrupting them frequently saying , i quote "we are running out of time". You will also see films stars frequently urging us to vote in their ad slots,i wonder why don't you relay them during the IPL which has more exposure than any of the channels, oh i forgot how will they earn money, silly me how can expect this from IPL. Whatever i am ashamed that we have to be reminded by some X,Y,Z to exercise our right to vote.


When someone urges you to vote the immediate response would be "nothing will change" ; "waste of time"; " everyone is corrupt". I would dismiss those arguments as bullshit. Lots have changed the generation now is far more informed and mature than our predecessors. When Dr Abdu…